Editing is my ‘day job’, so to speak, and the last two novels I edited were too long, both well over 120,000 words. This works for established authors, but not so much for new authors who are untried yet. When writing fiction articles, the writer usually has a word count limit as well. Being concise while still being entertaining is very important for any type of writer, fiction or non-fiction.
The factor that determines how long is too long for a piece of writing usually comes down to money. It costs money to print books, magazine, and other print media. The more pages in the book the more expensive it is for the publisher to print. For web copy, if the writing is too long, people won’t read it, and if they don’t read it, then the maximum return for page views is not achieved.
So I set about the task of editing these two novels to reduce the word count and thus reduce the page count so that they are more marketable books. What I found with the first novel is that the author just used too much descriptive background details that were not necessary to further the story. The second manuscript I edited was able to be cut down from 170,000 words to about 120,000 words just by cutting out passive voice phrases!
Granted, I had to cut a little more than just passive voice, but let me give you a sample of how passive voice and wordiness helped reduce the word count on this piece of writing:
~~ It seemed to be that he might have been looking at…
How wordy is that?
It’s not only a bit passive, but it’s just plain wordy, and also redundant.
While fiction writing doesn’t need to be as concise as technical or non-fiction writing, and passive voice is acceptable every now and then, writing predominantly in passive voice is going to make your reader tired. When I edit manuscripts written in passive voice, I get tired of reading. It’s like running everywhere you have to go instead of just walking there. It takes too much brain energy to really just sink into the reading and enjoy it.
So what is passive voice?
While most people think passive voice is using ‘ing’ words and ‘to be’ verbs, passive voice really has little to do with that, though linking verbs and and gerunds used together often do indicate passive voice. Passive voice or a passive phrase is one in which instead of the subject of the sentence doing something (performing the action), the subject instead receives the action of the verb in the sentence.
Example – Active Voice:
~~ Sarah wrote the book.
Example – Passive Voice:
~~ The book was written by Sarah.
Example – Passive Voice:
~~ The book was being written by Sarah.
In the first example, active voice, Sarah is the subject, the verb is ‘wrote’ and ‘the book’ is the direct object of the action (verb) Sarah did – she wrote it.
In the second example, passive voice, the book becomes the subject, ‘was written’ is your passive verb phrase, and Sarah becomes an indirect object that performed the action received by the book.
In the third example, we add the word ‘being’, making it even more wordy, but without really changing the meaning of the original active voice phrase.
As you can see, they all have the same basic meaning: there’s a book, there’s Sarah, and Sarah wrote the book. However, active voice is four words and passive voice is six, and extreme passive voice is seven words.
Now, fill up an entire manuscript or article with passive voice, with at least two or three extra words for every passive sentence, and you can see how writing predominately in passive voice means that your manuscript or article is going to be longer than necessary.
Additionally, when a person pictures the reading/action in their minds, it’s much easier for our brains to picture Sarah first, then add her writing a book than it is to picture a book, and then read it wasn’t a book being read but rather written, and have to change the image in the mind’s eye when reading.
One indicator of passive voice is the use of ‘linking verbs’ – to be, is, was, etc. Now, using a linking verb doesn’t always indicate passive voice.
~~ Rob WAS tired.
That’s an active voice phrase with ‘was’, but linking verbs used in conjunction with the gerund form of a verb (ing) just might make the sentence passive voice… not always, but frequently.
Passive:
~~ Rob was feeling tired.
Active:
~~ Rob felt tired.
So when writing, to help make your meaning clearer and to help prevent tiring your reader with passive voice, choose more active phrases:
Instead of:
~~ While I was writing, I was listening to music.
Use:
~~ While I wrote, I listened to music.
Seven words to nine words, see?
That’s my take on passive phrases, linking verbs, and reducing word count without changing the meaning of your sentence and keeping your reader from getting worn out! Can you spot instances of passive voice in your writing that could be changed to make it more concise? I know I catch myself doing it all the time, and sometimes, I do it and don’t catch it too!
Ah well, nobdoy’s prefertc!
