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Next Smash Bros Coming to Xbox 360


Super Smash Brothers Brawl is universally known as the greatest cross-over fighting game there is. According to sales, the Super Smash Brothers franchise is the greatest fighting game- ever. Mario, Link, Sonic, and Solid Snake can battle atop a Star Fox battle cruiser while flying through space. Nowhere else can you get a feeling more epic than that.

Super Smash Brothers is a series built upon tons of fighters, stages, explosive and game changing items, mind-blowing crossovers, and completely unpredictable battles waiting to be fought. No two matches are alike.

Yet, one might wonder. Could the Xbox 360, an HD gaming console, do more for the Smash series? Let’s sit down and consider that. In the 360 you have a system with fantastic online options (that you have to pay for), HD graphics, Hard Drive compatibility, and some other great thing. A winning formula? Perhaps.

Why It’s Likely:

It isn’t. The game engine, the characters, and every other true element to Smash is exclusive to Nintendo. The best Microsoft can manage is the occasional shameless clone that does little more than make Xbox owners wish they had Wiis- Kung Fu Chaos, Small Arms, Digimon Rumble Arena 2, etc.

Why It Might Suck:

This is going to be too easy. I almost don’t have to tell you why a Smash Brothers game would suck on the 360. Regardless, I will do my journalistic duty by doing so.

1. No Nintendo characters. (Goodbye Link, Pikachu, and 95% of the rest of the cast. Assuming Sega and Konami would cut a deal with Microsoft, you’d have 2 characters left from the original roster.

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2. No Nintendo stages or music. (Goodbye every stage aside from -potentially- Green Hill Zone and Shadow Moses Island. You can also forget the hundreds of Nintendo tunes from your most precious childhood gaming memories. They’ll be replaced by hardcore rap and heavy metal.)

3. 2 Player support only. (How many 4 player fighting games can you name for the 360? How many 4 player fighting games can you name for the 360 and the original Xbox? How many 4 player Xbox games can you name in general? Get the picture?)

4. Half the fighters would be bald, sweaty, hardened space marines. The other half would be Blinx and Kameo. (Remember the clones from Melee? Imagine how many versions of Master Chief they could fit in this one.)

5. All items would be replaced with guns. (Otherwise, 360 owners wouldn’t touch it.)

6. The 360 controller. (This thing was built with 2 genres in mind. Racing games and Shooters- mostly shooters. This thing has nothing to offer fans of the fighting game genre.)

7. Goodbye to free online play. Oh, and you’ll be paying to play with foul-mouthed, high-voiced 13-year-olds. (You’ll be sending your paychecks to Microsoft if you want to play SSB360 with friends online. You’ll also be deaf by the 2,000th time you’re called ‘gay’ on your headset.)

8. All female characters would be barely-dressed sex objects- coupled with the inevitable addition of blood, this will result in an M rating. (Yet another reason for women not to own the 360.)

9. The game would feature only 3 colors: grey, red, and dirt. (For a system so advanced, a lot of games have this limited color scheme.)

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10. The Red Ring of Death. (The 360’s Final Smash.)