When I was young, I remember my mother shopping at the mall. Back in the 1960’s, Sears and J C Penney was only located in malls. At that time, they were considered high price stores. I never thought anything about her using a card at checkout. I was young and stupid, but we had nice things to wear and our house was beautiful. When my parents divorced, things changed dramatically. We were wearing ‘hand me downs’, and clothes given to Mom. It changed my world forever.
This disease I have is called by layman’s term is Compulsive Shopping Disorder. It is a disorder in which a person over buys, or buys many items that are not a necessary for everyday living. Yes, people sometimes buy things they don’t really need, but this disorder is different. It is when the overspending is creating debt, and the satisfaction of shopping is still not fulfilled. ocd.about.com I thought I was just furnishing our newly built house, but I had 10 different mail order catalogs I was purchasing from. My credit cards (3) came in very handy at that time. Each company offered a small payment and then encouraged me, with tallying my total credit limit, to buy more. I did buy more, and in a big way.
Obsessive Shopping Disorder is in debate with the mental health officials. Some consider it to be hoarding, some professionals decided it to be a comfort to an unhappy lifestyle. psychcentral.com. The later describes me. I did not realize how unhappy I was with myself, and my marriage. At the time, I thought the more I tried to make our house and kids look perfect, we, as a blended family would become perfect. I bought the finest clothes for our 5 kids, but went to yard sales to buy for my husband and myself. We were not rich by any means. We had just started our own trucking business, and struggled with bidding on jobs and parts for the trucks when there was a break down. Those problems did not stop me. As the stress mounted in the business, the more the delivery trucks provided relief. I was buying furniture and elaborate wall decorations. It all came to a crushing halt in 2001. I had over spent the credit cards so much that when one of our trucks had a major break down, there was no money to fix it. Bankruptcy was the only way out. It did not fix my problem. I just started shopping at lower priced shops, and haunted every yard sale each weekend. I was not a hoarder. I had a place for everything I bought, but I was out of control and didn’t even know it.
In 2003 everything fell apart; my marriage that I did not appreciate, the kids that I took advantage of, and my friends that I betrayed. I was alone, scared, and had nothing, and nowhere to go. The only thing going for me was therapy. I had started seeing a mental health specialist for depression. The extent of my problems was deeper than that.
I have been in active treatment since 2003. I am not only treating my depression, but also found I suffer from anxiety attacks, parent abandonment syndrome, substance abuse, and low self-esteem. I have been on proper medication since then, and attend weekly visits with my mental health counselor. nami.org offers plenty of information, support, and help finding a professional for any mental health problem.
Am I cured of my obsessive buying? No, but I have learned the triggers that sent me into a buying spree. Counseling was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish I could turn back time to fix the past, but I can’t, but I can pass this along….Accept that you have a problem, then get help, and be honest with your mental health professional. This is the best shopping tip I can give to anyone.
