Stefanie Joanne Angelina Germanotta, aka Lady Gaga, is probably the most popular (and best) music star in the world today. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then parody is its most observant. I still love the Mama Monster (even if she won’t return my facebook requests).
Warning: some jokes are rather racy. If you are under twelve, please come back in a few years years. The jokes will still be here.
Recently Lady Gaga shocked the guests at an awards ceremony. She wore a conservative black dress and combed her hair. Nobody recognized her.
When Lady Gaga wants to go out incognito, she goes out as herself. Now if she can only figure out what that is.
Lady Gaga wrote a beautiful pop song recently. She decided not to release it. Wasn’t weird enough.
Lady Gaga is the most successful pop star in the world today. Of course when you’re competing against Justin Bieber, is it that hard?
There were rumors that Lady Gaga is actually a man. She came out strongly to refute them. Of course she was wearing a wife-beater T-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts.
Lady Gaga’s adoring fans are called her, “Little Monsters.” They love it that she’s even more clueless about style than they are.
Pop star Christina Aguilera despises Lady Gaga. Aguilera shaved her eyebrows years ago, and now Gaga gets all the attention (Don’t tell her she ripped off the look from punk rockers.).
Lady Gaga got a dog. Somebody’s got to eat the meat dress.
Lady Gaga loves to play piano and hang out with her idol Elton John. The enjoy exchanging recipes and wigs.
Gaga once wore an outfit consisting of stitched Kermit-The-Frog puppets. Her stylist nixed her original plan. She wanted to be covered with dead amphibians.
Once the press asked Lady Gaga what she wouldn’t wear. She paused and answered, “Marlon Brando.” (The Press didn’t get it either.)
Cher, David Bowie and the Estate of Freddy Mercury are suing Lady Gaga due to her style. No, it’s not because they think she’s copying them, but because she makes them look bad.
Lady Gaga is very patriotic. Once she was asked to sing, The Star Spangled Banner at a baseball game. She came out in a red, white and blue thong and falsies.
It’s true that Lady Gaga is rather sensual. She can make butter melt just by staring at it. Then she wears it.
Prince got very resentful about Lady Gaga. He feels she stole his garter belt and eyeliner.
Madonna is so envious of Lady Gaga. Finally a pop star who can actually sing, dance and write her own songs.
Lady Gaga is surprisingly conservative in her personal life. She never has sex with anyone who hasn’t had sex with the person she’s having sex with. (???)
Lady Gaga has a few tattoos. She thought of getting some more, but she didn’t want to be mistaken for Rihanna.
Lady Gaga is sometimes on drugs. You could never tell this by what she wears.
Lady Gaga has thought about performing the ultimate showstopper. But she doesn’t know how to follow setting herself on fire.
Some conservative advocates charge that Lady Gaga is too shocking. Then they look at Richard Simmons and realize it’s too late.
Lady Gaga is not easily impressed. She once fell asleep during an orgy.
Lady Gaga is very supportive of gay rights. She only eats rainbow sherbet.
It’s not that Lady Gaga is erratic, but one night she wrote one of the most heartfelt, soulful songs ever. Then she wiped her face with it.
One time Lady Gaga fell overboard and was lost at sea. By the way she was dressed, a Coast Guard crew found her in three minutes.
Lady Gaga is set to make her film debut playing herself. It’s gonna be called, Born This Weird.
New York, October 5, 2011
