I decided to expose the Jessica Simpson line of ‘Dessert Treats’ this week. My next victim up on the chopping block goes to her collection of body frosting.
What are Dessert Treats:
This line of products are made for 2. The idea is to cover your partners body with these Dessert Treats and lick them off. It’s supposed to be sexy…not sleazy because Jessica went and put them in cute pink bottles.
What is Body Frosting:
Well Jessie went and bottled up (not literately) some flavored body gunk into a bottle, slapped on a flavor, and called it edible. Uch.
The flavor I received was lollipop. I can rub some of this body frosting onto myself and lick it off, or onto my boyfriend and lick it off.
Seeing how I had already had many awful toxic tasted run ins with Jessica Simpson’s Dessert Treat line, I was in no rush to test this nasty looking crap out.
The frosting looks nothing like frosting. It basically looks like slime. You know the kind in quarter machines? Yeah, it looks like runny melted slime, in pretty colors. Lollipop Body Frosting was a runny colored pinkish red.
My Use:
I knew better than to actually use it. I instead opened it to test it. I sipped my finger into the sticky slime barrel and raised my finger to my tongue. I licked it, and was greeted with that same infamous toxic taste that this Dessert Treat line is known for. Hot damn it tasted like hell. It does not taste like lollipops or anything good for that matter.
It tastes like I had just opened my mouth and sprayed in some flowery perfume.
It’s chemically, and harsh. It’s far from being called ‘edible’. God I cringe just thinking about how nasty it is.
Does Jessica Simpson truly believe that people would enjoy this?
I would like to see her use it! I really would. I want to see Jessica Simpson lick this crap off of someones body… but to make it easy… seeing how Nick is no longer around, I’d like to see her dip her whole finger into the bottle and lick it up. Let me see her say yum! If she does, than she’s a better actress than I gave her credit for.
Overall:
Jessica Simpson’s Body Frosting is yet another product I can add to my ‘nasty, you suck’ list of products. Too bad too, the concept was sort of… cute. Gross, but cute.
Where to find it:
Not that you’d want to, but you can pick this up at a local Eckerd’s store. The body frosting comes in other flavors… however they too are all toxic flavors.
