My wife and I were married last summer in a beautiful gazebo ceremony followed by an elegant reception. Close to two hundred guests attended. Everything was perfect. The weather was immaculate – breezy and comfortable. The gazebo setting was beautiful. The catering service was impeccable. And everyone was in good spirits.
Surprisingly I wasn’t even nervous. I was excited and happy and felt confident throughout the entire ceremony. I knew I was marrying a great woman and had no reservations about it.
After the ceremony my wife and I were reintroduced to the guests in the reception hall, danced our first dance, and settled in for what promised to be a night of celebration and fun.
As the waiter poured my glass of champagne I felt my first pang of nervousness. I realized it was time for the maid of honor and best man to give their speeches. You see the best man, Jason, is a great friend – he’s very intelligent, strong willed, and a whiz with computers. However, a good writer and public speaker he is not.
To make matters worse the maid of honor was my wife’s best friend – a doctoral student, a teacher, and wonderful at speaking in public. I didn’t want Jason to be outclassed and embarrassed by the maid of honor. I was nervous for my friend.
As the maid of honor finished up her speech I was expecting the worst. Her speech was very good. The guests laughed, cried, and even clapped at the end. I was terrified for Jason, and I assumed he was terrified too.
Then a strange thing happened. Jason took the microphone, introduced himself, and assuredly delivered the most eloquent wedding speech I had ever heard. He was confident, funny, heartfelt, and poised. His timing was perfect and the speech itself sounded as though it was written by a wordsmith.
I couldn’t believe it. Later that night I asked Jason how he went about writing his speech. He wouldn’t tell me at the time, but a few months later he and his girlfriend got engaged. When Jason asked me to be the best man he finally filled me in on the resource he used to help him prepare his speech.
I have begun to write my speech for Jason’s wedding. From my research I have come up with a few guidelines to follow when writing a wedding speech. These aren’t set in stone and there are probably more tips that could be added, but these are the building blocks of most great wedding speeches:
Introduce yourself to the guests. Unless everyone knows you, this will help put your speech in the proper context. Make a positive observation about the wedding. Say something funny at the groom’s and/or bride’s expense. Keep it clean, clean, clean. Tell an amusing anecdote about the couple.
If you are the best man, then don’t forget the bride (and visa versa). Say something nice about him/her. Provide an insight into the bride’s and groom’s relationship. Pay a sincere tribute to the groom and/or bride. End the wedding toast on a high note – express good wishes for the couple’s future.
Don’t forget to actually propose and execute a toast. Have the guests join you and lift their glasses. Then complete the toast with a “Cheers”, “Salut”, etc. Do not give a wedding toast if you are drunk. This should require no explanation.
A wedding is something that will be remembered forever. Go the extra mile to craft a meaningful tribute and deliver a great speech.
