I am a single mom to a twelve year old son. I have been single since I was five months pregnant. Once I had my son, I put myself back through college, going full-time, as well as working full-time. This was incredibly difficult, but I knew I needed to do it in order to be able to provide a good future for me and my son.
Often people comment to me “I just don’t know how you do it”. My courtesy response is always “thanks”, but often I want to say “what choice did I have”. Sure, I had choices but they were not choices that I wanted.
If you find yourself pregnant, you too can do it. I was 19 when I became a mom. I do not receive child support, but that was a choice I made. I chose not to go to court and battle it out. I could do it on my own. Granted, it took time.
Lean on your family for support. Let them help you. I was determined not to be a statistic. I refused family help in the beginning. I flat out refused hand me downs. For some reason, I had it in my mind that only “teen-age moms” were recipients of hand me downs. I made a big mistake by not accepting help early on.
One thing that I decided to do was to not work the first eleven months of my son’s life. I was in a position to stay living at home with my mother. I did not have rent or any expenses that went along with living in a house. I was fortunate. My mother was able to help me. I owned my car outright and only carried liability on my vehicle. I was able to afford the monthly premium for insurance.
One reason behind my decision to stay at home those first months was that I was in a wonderful position with living at home. I wanted to be the best mom I could be to my son since I was being both dad and mom.
When the time came for me to go back to work, I also decided to complete my college education. I only needed to go back to school for one year. I spend most of the second year of my son’s life in school and working. He was taken care of by either my mother or father. It killed me when I would get home and he would be asleep, but I kept reminding myself that me being away from him during the day would be so beneficial in the long run for both of us.
Since I finished school, I landed a great job with wonderful benefits. We have come along way since he was first born. I own my new home, own my car, my son is attending private school. It is difficult at times. I have learned to lean on my parents for help when needed. I often think about where we would be if I decided not to go back to school.
Not everyone who finds themselves pregnant at a young age have the option to return to school. However, even if you can only take one class per semester, go for it. So what if it takes you six years to get your degree, the time is going to pass anyway. Better yourself. In the long run both you and your child will benefit.
