Being a teenager is already hard enough. Teens have to not only deal with peer pressure and the pressure to conform to be cool; they also have to deal with floods of emotions that they do not understand. Not to mention, there is a lot of struggle with feelings of self worth and confidence. But what if incontinence were thrown into the mix?
You could imagine how this would deeply effect teens, which are already in a vulnerable state since they have to constantly compete with their peers and be the coolest in the school or at work. Now, they must deal with having to use diapers, which teens may associate with being babyish since that is how society wants people to view such a thing. Being that this is the case, their confidence levels will drop to an all time low, and they will feel that life is not worth living, as the incontinence will make it very difficult for them to want to be around their friends. They may avoid socializing altogether, as they are terrified about being found out and judged unmercifully. How could you help a teen suffering from incontinence? What could you do to make him feel better about himself?
The most important thing is to tell him that you do not look at him any differently. The fact that he has incontinence does not matter in the least bit. Reassure him that he is intelligent and that he can still lead a normal life and have fun. Tell him you’ll be there whenever he should need to talk or a shoulder to cry on, and you will be his support. Hearing these words is a big help. When a person knows that someone loves them no matter what and that they have a support system or a home base to run to, their confidence levels boost, as they have a trusted resource where they can find strength, comfort, and stability among many other things. Nothing else in the world will matter if that teen knows he is deeply loved.
Something else you can do to help him cope is to help him find easy strategies he can implement to manage his incontinence. Such strategies can include helping him find cool clothes to wear that will hide the diaper from the view of others and how he can change discretely in a public setting. You can also help him find a secret place within the house or the bedroom to keep diapers out of sight for when friends who do not know about the condition come over to hang out.
You will also want to explain the importance of true friendship. Tell your teen that those that really matter will not judge him for his condition but will continue to be his friend. Those that do judge him and make mockery about his incontinence are not his real friends, and he should do away with them immediately. Helping him to understand the true value of friendship and how friends treat one another will make it easy for him to stand tall, remain confident, and kick useless people to the curve that will only do him a disservice.
Lastly, get him enrolled into some incontinence support groups. It will help him to talk to others like him because he will know he is not all alone. If there are none in your area, there are a plenty online. www.depend.com is a good place to start.
If you follow all of these steps, you will make the coping process easier for your teen. He will eventually learn that he can accept himself and live life to the fullest.
