Courtney
Courtney was very troubled by what she saw. Sonya, who was a new student in second grade, was not being treated kindly by the other members of the class. Courtney could tell by the expression on Sonya’s face that she was very unhappy about the situation. After thinking about it for awhile, Courtney knew just what action to take. At recess she would ask Sonya to play with her. She would watch over this new student and go out of her way to include Sonya in as many group activities as possible. Courtney knew that if she treated Sonya well, the others would follow. Courtney was pleased that she could have such a positive influence on her classmates.
Doug
Much to Mr. Kunkel’s dismay, six-year-old Doug had gained a reputation as the class clown. Several times each day, Mr. Kunkel had to reprimand Doug when he would act out. It wouldn’t be so bad, except the rest of the class tended to pick up on Doug’s misbehavior and lose control.
Definition of Leadership
Leadership can take many forms-both positive and negative. A child may exhibit leadership qualities when he varies the rules of a familiar game to make it more exciting for friends. These qualities may also show themselves when a child arbitrates a disagreement among friends or when she seems to take the group in a negative direction.
A Leader:
• Is liked and respected by most of her peers
• Influences others to work toward goals
• Takes charge of the group
• Judges the abilities of other children and finds places for them in the group activities
• Figures out what is wrong with an activity and shows others how to do it better
• Is often asked for ideas and suggestions
• Is looked to by others when something must be decided
• Senses what others want and helps them to accomplish it
• Enters into activities with contagious enthusiasm
• Is chosen by peers when given a chance
Channeling Effective Leadership Skills
The ability to lead is a powerful tool. As adults we want to encourage children to develop their leadership skills in ways that will benefit society. We want to encourage them to…
• Listen to and solicit others’ ideas and recommendations
• Be open to the probability that there is more than one good solution to a problem
• Surround themselves with competent people
• Compliment others and give credit for their achievements
• Learn others’ strengths and help them to deal from those strengths
• Devote time to worthwhile endeavors
Tips for Parents
Parents can help their children develop leadership skills in the following ways:
Develop Listening Skills
Practice “I hear what you’re saying” strategies when having family discussions. With you as a mediator, each participant must restate what the previous speaker said before making further comments. This ensures each participant is listening to the others and processing what they are saying before continuing the dialogue.
Surround Your Child with Competent People
Provide your future leader with books, magazines, newspapers, and videotapes about famous leaders and the highly skilled individuals with whom they surrounded themselves. Discuss the techniques these leaders used in choosing competent people.
Model Reflective Decision-Making
Observing a parent in informal leadership situations can be instructive. Your child may watch you talk to others at work, give directions to workers who come to the home, or order a meal at a restaurant.
Compliment Others and Give Credit for Their Achievements
Once again, parent role-modeling is a superb vehicle for teaching this skill. Compliment freely and often when deserved and encourage your child to do likewise. Praise her when you see this behavior.
With your child, critically study the accomplishments of leaders in the fields of art, literature, science, business, sports, etc. Praise contributions they have made to their fields and discuss why they are significant.
As early as possible, teach your child the value of the magic words “please” and “thank you.
Understand Types of Leadership
Discuss the types of leadership behavior family members encounter on athletic teams, organizations, or charities. Discuss which seems most effective, and why. Help your child to understand that there are different leadership roles: some involve actively initiating action, while others are more reflective and supportive.
Learn Others’ Strengths
Encourage your child to join school activities so that he can encounter the diverse talents of others.
Help your child to appreciate the talents of others in fields where your youngster may not be especially strong.
Practice Being a Follower
As a member of your family, your child should be given opportunities to follow as well as to lead. Remember, the parent should retain the real leadership role in the family. Your child is, after all, still a child.
Participate in Organizations
Provide your child with a variety of opportunities to interact with others in both formal and informal settings. Participating in organizations gives a child the opportunity to encounter a variety of leadership role models, and from that, formulate a style that best fits.
Leadership is best fostered by parents who model not only the qualities of leadership, but who reflectively share their decision-making processes and provide opportunities for their child to become a leader.
