Gillette is known by its motto, “The best a man can get,” but with the production of its Venus line of razors, it ought to start including women in that motto as well.
With this line of feminine razors, Gillette has unlocked doors that many women didn’t even know existed. The Venus Vibrance is by far Gillette’s best and most unique razor, because not only does it deliver a smooth shave, it vibrates as well. The Venus Vibrance is marketed on the Gillette website as a razor that”gently exfoliates to gently reveal more radiant skin. With the push of a button turn on Soothing Vibrations ™ for a sensational shaving experience.”
The people at Gillette couldn’t be more correct. My particular sensational shaving experiences (of which I’ve had many) have been so sensational that I’m beginning to feel guilty for spending so much of my time in the locked bathroom with my Venus Vibrance gripped lovingly in my anxious hands. Before purchasing the Vibrance I always dreaded shaving my legs and bikini area. Now I sometimes shave two or three times a day, for hours at a time. When I finish with my fabulous Vibrance razor, I can only look forward to the next time I use it. Once you start using this razor, you’ll never want to go back to your old razor except maybe when you only have time to shave. But even when you’re pressed for time, you’ll be tempted to grab your Venus Vibrance for a quickie.
Gillette claims that each stroke of the Venus Vibrance exfoliates dead, dry layers of skin, leaving your skin looking smooth and radiant as ever. I concur completely. After a prolonged session with my Venus Vibrance razor, I end up looking as colorful as I’ve ever looked, my face all flushed and my lower extremities as smooth as a baby’s bottom. And overall, after many fabulous strokes of my Venus Vibrance, I feel like a brand new woman, both inside and out. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that my circulation is better, my complexion is fabulous, and my mood is enhanced significantly. But be warned, once you’re trapped in the Venus Vibrance Flytrap, your obsession can become addicting.
I have female friends who have been known to suffer withdrawals after quitting cold turkey, although why anyone would ever want to stop using the Venus Vibrance is beyond me. To be fair, the replacement razors are expensive (about ten dollars for three or four at Walmart), but it’s not like you ever really dull any. Half the time I’m using my razor, I don’t even bother attaching the razors anyway. And if you are the sort that actually expects to use the Venus Vibrance to shave, the cheaper Venus replacement razors are compatible with your Vibrance handle.
You might assume that because the Venus Vibrance vibrates, like other vibrating personal accessories, it’s loud enough to wake the dead, or at least loud enough to make the neighbors wonder when you’ll be done sandblasting your kitchen floor. But nothing could be further from the truth. The Vibrance is as quiet as a church mouse, dispensing a soft, almost unnoticeable hum that reminds me of a kitten’s purr. The quietness of the razor is perfect in those awkward circumstances when you’re aching for another sensational shaving experience but you don’t want to wake your snoring husband. The Vibrance is also safe to use in the shower and the little noise it does make can easily be drowned out by your offkey version of Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On.”
The Venus Vibrance runs off one AAA battery, included with the purchase of the razor. Gillette encourages you to replace the battery every 3-6 months but it’s been my experience that the battery needs replaced much more often than recommended. In fact, you might consider purchasing a battery charger because if you’re anything like me, you want that Energizer Bunny to keep your Vibrance going and going and you coming and coming… to the realization, that is, that the Venus Vibrance is the best thing since the invention of the toaster, better even because a toaster can’t deliver such a clean, close shave with such a sensual touch. Now if only Gillette could invent a vibrating iron…
