I hadn’t really heard the term “Mom jeans” until one memorable day when a teenager (who will remain nameless) told me I was wearing a pair of mom jeans. My first reaction was “Well, of course. I’m a mom, and these are mom jeans.”
The teen then gave me a look that revealed I was not only out of the loop but totally clueless. This was followed by some sarcastic comment. I didn’t react until the teen was out of the house. While I may have been wearing mom jeans, I had learned enough to appear unflappable in front of teens, as often as possible.
But after the teen left the house, I decided it was time for research. First I stopped at Urban dictionary to get some basic idea of what constituted Mom jeans at: www.urbandictionary.com/define.php
The definitions I found there described unflattering jeans that are often seen on women over forty, are too high and too tight. They basically make a woman’s body look terrible and many of them have tapered legs. I happen to like tapered legs so I knew I was guilty on that count. I also wore jeans that rode high above my waist, leaving too much skin between jean bottom and shoe top. Guilty again.
By the definition at urban dictionary, I was wearing Mom jeans and this wasn’t meant as a compliment. Ouch! Anyone stopping by that site should know that there are even more unflattering terms there, some of them rather graphic. Consider yourself warned.
Next, I learned that women consider finding “the perfect pair of jeans” to be crucial and important. I was about to become one of them. Go to the site 43Things and you’ll discover that a whopping 242 women (maybe more, as of this writing) listed finding the perfect pair of jeans to be a goal worth pursuing. You can find that info here: www.43things.com/
1. Light colors which makes women look heavier
2. Elastic waists – this seems to be a key point.
3. Any style that makes bottoms look wider
4. High-waisted.
5. Tapered legs
Believe it or not, all of these things (well, okay, maybe not the elastic waists) used to be stylish at one point. Apparently, those who wear Mom jeans are signaling that they have failed to notice that they fell out of the fashion loop.Oops!
How to avoid buying Mom jeans
When I was a teen, I avidly read Glamour magazine’s list of fashion Dos and Don’ts. It turns out there are similar Dos and Don’t when it comes to jeans. Fashion expert Stacy London has been on the Oprah show, one that i Tivo-ed,and described the fine line that women of a certain age (mine) have to maintain to keep from wearing clothes too young for them or to avoid looking dowdy and unhip. Her basic info can be found at Oprah’s site: www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200511/20051115/slide_20051115_350_205.jhtml as well as many other sites. I have my own views on how to avoid Mom jeans too.
Okay, sounds good. So how to do this? Basic guidelines to avoid the Mom jean look:
1. Any jeans that could be pulled up to your bra line should be put back on the rack. That is a sign that the waistline is taking up more space than the jean bottom and leg line.
2. Boot cuts and skinny jeans. They may work for you but the odds aren’t high. The proof is in the fit. If they work for you, consider yourself blessed. Most women look hippy or obese in skinny jeans as well as boot cuts.
3. Take along an honest friend. Tell him or her to be brutally truthful.
4. If you are short, avoid boot cut pants. How short? Less than 5 feet, 5 inches as a general rule. If you are bone thin, you may break this rule -maybe.
5. If the pants give you dimples in places like your butt and/or a muffin top (skin hanging over the top of your jeans), put them back. Now.
6. Stretch fabric isn’t always kind. I have been guilty of buying pants with some give to the fabric because they feel good and I don’t feel compressed or squashed by them. I can breathe, too, always a plus. However, some stretch fabrics are still pretty clingy. Some aren’t stretchy enough. Again, look for tell tale dimples or lines that cut across your body. What you want is a smooth, flattering fit, not one that draws attention to the tight lines from jeans that don’t fit.
Jean brands that avoid the Mom jean look:
Please note that these suggestions work best for women who are average height, have a bit of tummy and no longer have the hips of a teenager (raising hand):
My best bets were Gap, Levis, Citizens of Humanity and Seven brand jeans. Other brands may work for you. You can check out Oprah’s website to find brands that will work for other body types but I can’t testify to those from personal experience. I can say that my best pair of jeans, the ones that get compliments from people of all ages, are both Seven and Citizens of Humanity jeans. Gap is a close second.
Here’s some goals when trying on jeans that avoid the Mom jean look: Make sure they are the right length and skin isn’t showing between the bottom of the jean and your shoe. The longer the jean leg, the longer your legs will look.
Also, consider the type of shoe you usually wear. Because of a stress fracture, I have to wear heels that tip my foot forward and take pressure off my Achilles heel. I always try on jeans wearing boots or heels because those are the footwear I have to wear for now. Consider what you wear, from sneakers to sandals, and try on jeans with the proper footwear.
Fabric that has some stretch is fine but try to avoid elastic waists. Most people look best in jeans that fit right at or below the belly button. This took some adjustment for me to accept but the compliments offset my initial discomfort in wearing jeans slightly below my natural waist. It made my body look more balanced, too, and with less emphasis on my hips.
Leave enough time to find the right pair of jeans and consider getting at least two pair of the style and brand that works best for you.
Pay attention to trends but look your age, too. See what other women with your body type are wearing and what works for them. Consider getting a belt to keep the jeans from riding up or down on your body.
I knew I’d found the right pair when I came in the house and got approving nods from both my husband and that certain teen.
