We fathers are a funny bunch. For the most part, our experience with babies and toddlers is so limited that when the duty of being a father is thrust upon us, we react in one of two ways: we become completely distant and uninvolved in everything that doesn’t end in “ball,” or we become so involved that our lack of experience and prior knowledge make us look like worry-wart nutcases.
I was the latter. My precious little boy spent two weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit immediately after birth to treat breathing issues. He had been visiting our room one night and was lying in his bassonette when I noticed he had turned purple. His breathing had stopped. It took only a shake or two to get him back up and running, but it implanted that paranoia in my mind. What would have happened if I had not been paying attention?
Thus developed my over-protective daddy instinct. The kiddo recovered and came home for quite a few happy and healthy months. Then, when he was about 10 months old, the first major illness hit. It was a stomach virus that spread throughout our young family, but it hit him the hardest. It began with some vomiting and low-grade fever, but soon became an almost continuous flow from both “ends” and a fever of up to almost 105 degrees.
His skin was red with streaks of discolored white. He barely moved. In my mind, he was knocking on death’s door. I freaked.
My wife, though eight years my junior, talked sense to me. She calmed me by telling me that kids his age routinely (or, at least, commonly) get fevers much higher than adults. Of course, I needed a second – and third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh – opinion, so I took him to see the doctor.
Our pediatrician assured me that it was a simple stomach virus, and that the only concern was dehydration. As long as he was urinating once or twice a day, it should pass. “But what about the fever?” I pressed. What followed was both a relief and an education for a young, first-time father.
If you’re in the shoes that I was in on that frightening April afternoon, here’s the advice that was imparted to me. I’ve double and triple checked it, referencing sources from my doctor’s practice partner to Dr. Sears, one of the world’s most respected pediatricians and author of countless bestselling child care books.
Basically, I learned that fever itself is rarely harmful. In fact, most doctors recommend that you don’t treat a “low-grade” fever (up to 101 degrees) because it’s an effective tool in fighting infection. In fact, you shouldn’t treat a fever below 103 in toddlers unless it is affecting them adversely.
In other words, you should treat your child based more on his or her behavior/demeanor than the number that pops up on the thermometer. If he has 101 and is running around playing like a toddler should, let the fever do its thing. If your child is irritable and lethargic, give him Tylenol for Infants or Motrin for Infants. All children respond differently, but my little one responded much better to the Motrin.
Some low-grade fevers are nothing more than an effect of teething. If it’s teething or a viral infection, there’s almost nothing a doctor can do but treat the symptoms. Only bacterial infection can be treated.
There are a few instances that our doctor, as well as most of the other sources we referenced, said deserved an immediate call to the doctor.
If your baby or toddler has a fever or 104 or higher that does not come down to very low or normal with Tylenol or Motrin, contact your doctor. Also, if your child lies limp or unresponsively, or if he or she cries for hours inconsolably – meaning nothing can calm him or her – call your doctor or take your child to the emergency room.
The most urgent situation is that of meningitis. If your child has a high fever, sensitivity to light, or complains of pain in the back of his or her neck, it’s imperative that you call your doctor immediately. Even though it’s fairly rare, meningitis is a deadly and incredibly contagious condition.
The most important thing to remember is that your instinct is just as accurate as any doctor’s advice. If something tells you undeniably that your baby needs medical attention, you should disregard all advice – no matter how credible.
My little boy came out of his illness just fine. Although I include thanks every night in my nightly prayer for that healing, I’m fairly sure it’s common. It’s easy as a first-time parent – fathers especially – to expect the worst from any health scare involving your child. Mine is now two years and four months and is as smart, healthy and happy as any child on earth. Take a deep breath, talk to those who really know, and act accordingly.
One exception to the rule is if your baby is three months or younger. In that case, your doctor should be contacted within a few hours if your child’s fever is 101 or higher. If he or she is six weeks or younger, 101 is considered a medical emergency, and warrants a trip to the emergency room.
A great reference for young parents is the Dr. Sears website, which can be found at www.askdrsears.com.
