An interesting report stated that every year about 800,000 children in the United States are reported missing and another estimated 500,000 go missing without being reported. But not all of these children are runaways and the information above also included children abducted by family members, usually in custody disputes, and a very small number of stranger abductions. But some children are repeat runaways, and so it is not easy to know with precision the exact number of runaway children. However, it is clear to children legal and welfare experts that the number is lager – See Running Away…at www.healthofchildren.com.
Some experts estimate the number of yearly runaway children in America at 1.3 million. These children are described as those who leave with the overt or tacit approval of parents or caretakers (“throwaways”) and those who are turned out by parents who do not want them (“push-outs”) as well as teens who leave because they are dissatisfied with their home life. But since we are concerned about runaway children, what other reasons are there to explain to us why they do leave home in such a manner?
In The Street is a Brutal Parent, we are informed that children leave home in an unpleasant manner because of: significant lack of family communication; feelings of not belonging or not being good enough; physical and sexual abuse; fighting or violence between parents; problems with parents or blended families (step-parents, step or half brothers and sisters); problems with non-parental living situation (other relatives, foster care, group home); parental alcohol or drug use/abuse; kids alcohol or drug use; loss of a parent due to divorce or death; sexuality/teen pregnancy; ongoing or unexpected financial difficulty; moving to a new area/school during adolescence; friend and peer influence; the power of gangs attraction, among other reasons.
These are very serious reasons and we are advised not to treat any of them as ordinary. It is common for teens and adolescence to make their own decisions as part of the development process. But we must guard against teens following peers opinions and suggestions than that of parents or guardians. This is important because most teens still want their parents to help them sort out the difference between normal adolescence behavior and indications of serious problems – See The Street is a Brutal Parent at www.covenanthousefl.org. Hence, what are some of the warning signs of a troubled teenager parents/guardians need to lookout for?
Some of the known warning signs are: extreme mood changes or rebelliousness; very poor self-esteem; withdrawal from family and long-term friends and/or association with new friends of whom parents do not approve; drop in their grades and skipping school; remarkable change in the appearance of children such as major weight loss and lack of attention to personal hygiene; isolation and depression; lying and stealing; beginning or increased use of drugs and alcohol; suicide threats; violent outbursts; gang tattoos or paraphernalia; possession of weapon and others. Sincere monitoring and attention to our children can help us to identify these and others for corrective measures before it’s too late.
When children do runaway, parents need to know the kind of adverse situations they will face in the real world. Some very common and unpleasant experiences they will have to face include: going from friend to friend or relative to relative and so not belonging anywhere; sleeping in bushes, cars and abandoned buildings; dropping out of school and so not graduating with their high school diplomas; consistently being hungry and at times not eating for days; not finding a good job and place to live/rent since most landlords will not rent to teens; having their belonging including identification stolen while homeless; facing the possibility of being sexually abused by other older teens and adults, which can lead to multiple sex partners, prostitution and contracting incurable diseases; dealing in drugs and related criminal activities plus many other unpleasant experiences – www.covenanthousefl.org/pages/runpar.htm.
These experiences are very real. Parents and guardians are admonished to discuss the above with their kids in a concerned way so as to prevent what is known can happen to them when they go beyond demonstrating normal adolescence development behaviors. See “The Street is a Brutal Parent” mentioned above for information on what to do if your teen runs away from home.
Prevention is often preferred than a cure, so some runaway preventive information from the Polly Klaas Foundation: Runaway and Missing Children at www.focusas.com/Runaways.html include the following:
Providing place of safety for your children (both emotionally and physically); talking with your children openly and honestly about their feelings and reasons for wanting to leave home; listening to your children when they talk about their concerns, feelings and difficulties they may be facing; encourage your children to succeed and to work through their differences or struggles; support your kids needs to mature and gain independence as they mature; create the opportunity for your children to learn about and making positive decisions for their lives; teach your kids to be accountable for their actions; protect your children from feelings of loneliness and isolation; defend your children openly against harassment or verbal abuse of any kind; and always make your home a place of trust and support that fulfills your children needs. Parents need to remember these and other helpful features to mitigate the possibility of their children contemplating and eventually running away from home, in the interest of the kids and the family.
Therefore, in America, children runaway from home every year because of different reasons. The parents/guardians will need to play an essential role in identifying the symptoms for wanting to leave home and dealing with them. Preventive measures often help to avoid the unpleasant reality of leaving home and facing the adversities of the brutal real world. So we are admonished to love our kids and to protect them from facing the harsh life of homelessness from running away from home.
