Custody battles are damaging to everyone and can drain a parent’s bank account as well as clog up the court system. Too often, parents find themselves fighting to the verge of bankruptcy over issues that are ultimately rather unimportant, and minor variations in custody are often at the top of the fighting list. Joint custody can be one of the best solutions to post-divorce fighting and litigation, and is also demonstrably better for children in most cases. Here’s why joint custody may be best for your family:
What Is Joint Custody and When Does It Work?
Children are not objects, and joint custody does not mean children are split down the middle with each parent getting exactly the same amount of time with them. Instead, joint custody means that each parent shares in decision making and that each parent gets a substantial amount of overnight time with the child, rather than just getting visitation every few weeks. There are a variety of joint custody arrangements available, and when courts select joint custody arrangements they typically aim to find the agreement that is least disruptive to the child’s life.
Joint custody is not for everyone. Joint custody only works when both parents are equipped to care for the child and when there is no abuse. Thus, joint custody should be considered the default in the “average” divorce proceeding, but joint custody should never be forced on families that are not equipped to handle it.
Better Child Support Compliance
Child support is often among the most hotly contested issues in divorce proceedings, and it can be difficult to get a parent to pay the child support they owe. But studies have shown that, the more time a non-custodial parent has with their child, the more likely they are to pay child support. And, when custody is shared, the parent who is supposed to be paying child support actually follows through with paying it the overwhelming majority of the time.
More Parent Satisfaction
In analysis of several studies, researchers found that, several years after joint custody was ordered, parents reported higher satisfaction with joint custody than with any other custody arrangement. In particular, mothers found that they got more help and support from fathers, and fathers reported that they were able to develop and maintain healthier relationships with their children.
Happier Children
In interviews with children several years post-divorce, researchers found the number one complaint children had was that they did not get enough time with their noncustodial parent. Many reported depression and a sense of longing for their other parent. Conversely, just like with parents, when children were in joint custody arrangements they reported higher satisfaction than children in any other arrangements.
Protection Against the Damage of Divorce
Children suffer a variety of problems when their parents divorce or never marry. In a surprising study result, however, researchers found that when children were in joint custody arrangements, they were as well-adjusted as children whose parents had remained married.
Better Blended Families
When parents begin dating, it can be painful for children, and children are especially prone to problems in blended families with their noncustodial parent. When children are in joint custody arrangements, however, they have the opportunity to develop meaningful relationships with both parents, which can lead to less resentment and dysfunction if one parent remarries.
Stronger Attachments
In the past decade, children under the age of six have accounted for sixty percent of kids involved in custody disputes. Many parents mistakenly believe that these children are too young to tolerate joint custody agreements, but the empirical evidence dictates otherwise. Several studies reported in “The Scientific Basis of Child Custody Decisions” indicate that these children benefit more from joint custody agreements than any other group. The reason is simple: these children are still forming attachments to their parents, and joint custody agreements allow these attachments to develop in a healthy, normal way.
Better Communities
The phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child” has become something of a cliche, but cliches are often true, and this one is no exception. A century of research in anthropology has revealed the importance of community involvement in raising children. Specifically, friends, grandparents, siblings, and extended family are vitally important in children’s development, and no parent is an island. There is substantial research indicating that, when joint custody arrangements are ordered, children maintain stronger community ties and develop longer lasting relationships with grandparents and extended family. The benefits of these relationships have been heavily documented and, when joint custody helps these relationships to be maintained, child outcomes are overwhelmingly better.
Better Child Adjustment
There are several ways to measure child adjustment, and countless studies have sought to measure child outcomes after divorce. Meta-analysis is an analysis that looks at the results of several studies and then makes a recommendation. In a huge meta-analysis that analyzed reports on child adjustment from parents, friends, teachers, psychotherapists, and other knowledgeable figures, children were better adjusted on a variety of measures in joint custody arrangements. The least well-adjusted children were children in sole custody arrangements with minimal time with the noncustodial parent.
The Importance of Fathers
Though fathers do occasionally request and get sole custody, and in some studies account for 10% of parents with sole custody, in most custody agreements, the mother has primary or sole custody. Numerous studies have documented that, after five years, when fathers to not share custody, they tend not to be involved with their children at all. The catastrophic consequences of absent fathers include drug use, dangerous sexual behavior, suicide, depression, eating disorders, criminal behavior, and a host of other social ills. Joint custody is the arrangement most likely to keep fathers involved and thus most likely to protect children from the dangers of having an absent father.
Lower Conflict
The effects of parental conflict on children can be disastrous. Children with parents who fight constantly have trouble with romantic relationships, trouble making friends, difficulty with employment as adults, and lower adjustment on almost every measure. Joint custody, however, is the agreement most likely to minimize parental conflict and is also the arrangement least likely to be re-litigated, therefore protecting children from the consequences of parental conflict.
Sources:
The Scientific Basis of Child Custody Decisions
