Tough Love is a hard thing to do sometimes but is unfortunately, at one point or another, absolutely mandatory. It is the only way, on occasion, to express the seriousness of a situation. This article will take an in depth look at the reasons and need for this type of effective parenting skill and offer the appropriate tough love punishments for common issues amongst children and teens today.
This is an educative guide to parents everywhere that will offer support and encouragement in their parenting decisions. Remember, parenting is a serious job that needs serious attention for the entire duration that you are a parent- it is not job a short task that ends when your children begin to walk away and talk back.
There are some parents that believe that discipline is a bad word. They do not comprehend that children need to be taught what is appropriate; they need to experience the trial and error of life and personal choice. It is the parent’s job to ensure the stability of this foundation and enforce punishment that is suitable for the crime. Without the disciplinary aspect of parenting, children will grow up believing that breaking the law is a matter of personal preference instead of what is right.
The best lessons in life, for most of the world’s population, came with a severe penalty attached. I never got a spanking that I liked at the time, but all were necessary for my growth and education. Speaking of spanking, some parents are for this act and some against. I, myself, must admit that sometimes it is important to get the point across for the benefit of the child and it does seem to get the message across.
Without discipline children can not possibly understand the full affect that bad decisions have on their lives. If a child is raised without being punished for stealing or hurting another then they will grow up believing that this is okay, and when they are arrested for these actions it will come as a shock to them. Our job as parents is to get our children ready for the adult world. Learning the ‘do’s’ and ‘don’ts’ are very important to the growth and development of every human being.
Effective Parenting: When Grounding Doesn’t Work
There will often be time when grounding doesn’t work. It is at this point that other disciplinary actions should be implemented so that the children can learn from their mistakes and you can teach them by effective parenting.
It is important that you don’t get discouraged; every child will push the boundaries during their childhood to see what they can get away with and how dedicated /serious their parents are when it comes to teaching them right from wrong.
Effective Parenting: Competing with Bad Influences
There should be no competition between you and other influences in your child’s life. If there is then you have not been as active and involved in your child’s life and decisions as you should’ve or could’ve been. By being an active parent your child learns to trust you and value your experience, this means they will need you to be the most important factor in their lives.
By teaching your kids right from the start the bad types of friends versus the real friends you can avoid some of the headache involved with bad decisions down the road.
If you find yourself being blatantly ignored in front of certain influential friends then it is pretty safe to say that there is something going on behind the scene that needs your prompt attention.
Effective Parenting: Crossing the Line
Children need to know that crossing the clear boundaries will not, under any circumstances, be tolerated. The rules and laws that are set in your family are there for a reason. Explaining this along with punishments for breaking these rules will result in a thought provoking meditation that will come back the next time they wish to commit the same offense.
It is imperative that you take this portion of your parenting job seriously and follow through. With ever time you turn your back or give a ‘warning’ about the punishments to come you are suggesting that the actions themselves are not that serious. This diminishes all sense of what should be considered right and wrong.
Effective Parenting: The Last resorts
Last resorts should be reserved as just that… last resort. If grounding, sentences, and other general punishments don’t work then your child is trying to see just how far you will go to make them understand that what they are doing is wrong. Below are a few of the most common issues that parents and children face and the last resort that would be appropriate to implement should the need arise to enforce and support your parental point.
Crimes: stealing, drug issues, etc.-Boot camp can introduce structured stability in a tough yet encouraging way.
Disturbing acts with friends: cyber sex, sneaking out, excessive cursing, violent acting out, etc.-removing the computer and keeping it locked until you are present to observe EVERY use is important along with taking your child out of the reach of the influences (current education facility) and placing them in either home school or a private school where a constant monitoring system can be enforced.
It is important to impose a set of rules and a disciplinary action plan. By being diligent in educating your kids on exactly how difficult these decisions are on you, for their own benefit, you can help ensure the cooperation of your children and obtain the respect for the important job you have by keeping them safe and healthy.
