The battle over child custody can be physically, emotionally and financially draining. For many parents, the decision to forego child custody battles is often determined by mediation and the agreement to participate in dual parenting with joint custody and 50/50 split visitation.
In recent years, however, the number of fathers gaining custody of their children has increased significantly. For many of these fathers, the reality that they can raise their children alone has been introduced by their attorney and through witnessing other families who have experienced the same divorce outcome.
For women, the concept of giving up custody of her children is often traumatic and emotionally draining. While mothers traditionally retain custody of their children, many fathers are continuing to fight for the right to custody.
In terms of financial stability and employment, women who retain custody of their children often find they are under great financial strain as they balance motherhood, nurturing, fulltime employment and manage their own needs. In contrast, when a father retains custody of children, there seems to be less financial instability, often attributed to the custodial father working more than a standard 40 hour work week.
While many courts debate over the custody of children, it is important to look at the financial aspect as well as the nurturing aspect of care. For most custodial fathers, the focus is not necessarily upon the nurturing aspect as much as it may be upon the financial aspect of care. For this reason, custodial fathers, when compared with married men or non-custodial fathers will historically work more hours or carry more than one job.
With over two million families run by single father households, many children are now lacking in the nurturing aspect of parenting as fathers continue to struggle to balance the financial needs of their children by working more than 40 hours per week. If you are a father who is considering the role of custodial parent, it is important to put the issues of nurturing and finances into perspective. As men traditionally focus on the financial needs of their family, you may find that you are overly concerned with the need to work additional hours and may lose valuable quality time with your children.
Balance as a custodial parent is important to the outcome of your divorce arrangements. When seeking custody of your children, it is important to present to the court an image that portrays one that is financially stable but also able to provide a solid parenting influence. If you present to the court your financial documents and employment records, which show you work more than 40 hours a week, the courts may not look highly upon this, resulting in your loss of custody.
While men and women continue to struggle with role identity in the process of divorce and child custody, courts are continuing to make the balance. With many men now retaining custody of their children, there must be encouragement to move away from excess in terms of financial income and focus, instead, on working a 40 hour work week and allocate additional time to the parenting role.
