It is Christmas 2006 and I just turned on the TV and there’s a big, blue banner that reads “JAMES BROWN HAS DIED” and I’m pretty certain that the news anchor is talking about the legendary but sometimes troubled singing phenom and not the hefty sportscaster that always wears nice suits. As the day passed, I turned on the radio to hear (more often than usual) “Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto”, followed by on- air personalities as well as call-in listeners paying their respects.
The next day there was a television news story that showed Tomie Rae, James Brown’s partner crying and stating that Brown’s people have locked her out of their Beach Island, SC home they had shared since 2001. Despite having a tumultuous relationship that produced one son, James Joseph Brown II, there have been no reports of a separation at the time of Brown’s passing. From 2003 to 2005, the couple’s domestic problems were made public (including a full-page ad in Variety, placed by Brown in 2004 announcing their separation) but they always referred to the other as their spouse. Maybe not. In 1997, Tomie married Jared Ahmed in Houston, Texas. She would later claim that the marriage to Ahmed, who is from Pakistan, was void because he had three other wives that she was not aware of at the time they were wed. Since the state of Texas does not allow polygamy, to file for divorce may be a waste of time and money, right? Though they exchanged vows in 2001, in February 2004 Brown filed an annulment from Tomie Rae implying fraud by her 1997 marriage. Yet , they only reconciled in April of that same year. With so much confusion, it seems that a civil marriage ceremony would have solidified her marital rights. Or at least she wouldn’t be on TV crying about having to stay in a motelwith her son.
Had this couple resided full-time in any of the following states; Alabama, Colorado, District of Columbia, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Rhode Island or Utah – there might not be a problem because these state observe common-law unions as binding. Though Texas is included in that list, they have several requirements which includes living together for 2-3 years straight, which may not have applied to the Brown’s because of their many times of separation.
As common-law marriages become more and more the norm, should the United States as a whole make this legal when it comes to possession of property both tangible and non-tangible? Well, to have a simple, civil service wedding involves a lot of paperwork, a little blood test and there must be one witness present. The upgrade would be an elaborate ceremony based on religion (or what the bride-to-be may see on TV or wedding magazines) which involve more time, paperwork, energy and money. Sometimes, more time and energy are put into the wedding instead of the marriage itself.
Common law marriage, or cohabitation is as simple as bringing one’s possessions to another’s place of residence. For the most part, there is no minimum or maximum amount of time that a couple has to be under one roof to be considered common law in most states. This is most commonly done to avoid paying higher taxes that may be imposed on married couples, used as a “trial marriage” for a designated period before taking the big leap or just to save on day-to-day expenses. Some (like myself) see it as a roommate situation while others expect that sacrifices should be made that are equivalent to those that are part of a traditional marriage. Why do the aforementioned feel this way? A person who chooses this life risks waking up one morning to their “fake” husband/wife being gone; they could have come into some money that they are NOT legally obligated to share with anyone, reconciled with an ex, or just because they want to be single again and don’t want a hassle. Personally, until you make a legal promise to take care of me when I can’t take of myself, I cook when I feel up to it and not a minute sooner, thank you. Sometimes, a cohabitation agreement drawn up by the couple (or a paralegal) can stand up in a court of law when it comes to property and possessions acquired before the relationship. A non-marital separation agreement is the best defense when a couple chooses not to live together anymore. While it does not cover any children conceived during the time together, it does state how debts and property acquired by the couple will be handled. It protects both from harassing phone calls or other means of contact used to collect on bad debts. Unfortunately, it does not take the place of a restraining order. If a person is being harassed or assaulted, they must file the proper paperwork with their law enforcement agency and possibly pay a fee.
Tomie Rae was not only the mother to James Brown’s last child but she also went on road with him singing back-up. Though there was not much to be found on her professional career prior to meeting Brown – Tomie, who is in her mid-thirties, had a business relationship with the late singer. Like any other relationship, especially one where a lot of money is involved, an agreement should have been in place and within the reach of both parties at all times. I am not here to imply that anyone is, or was trying to get over but as James himself once sang, “It’s a Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World”, all women need to be their own eyes, ears and possibly legal support.
A long time ago, cohabitation was common amongst Black slaves in the South as well as the very poor. Since they had nothing to give but love it worked out for both parties.
