Everyone has times of doubt, fear and insecurity. At such times it is tempting to wish we were somebody else. Wishing you were someone else requires thinking someone else is better than you. But, we all experience feelings of doubt, fear and insecurity so we will not escape them by wishing we were someone else.
For example, consider a beautiful girl sitting by herself at a party. She appears to be calm and casual as she sits there sipping a glass of champagne. You may think that she is calm and confident. But you have no idea what she is thinking. She may be thinking’ “are people talking about why I am seated here alone?” “Why don’t guys find me attractive?” “I don’t like my ankles” or “I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”
Doubt, fear and insecurity do not have to dictate your life. You can have positive self-esteem and self confidence. Rather than wishing you could trade places with someone who appears to be perfect, but actually suffers from similar insecurities, why not improve your own self-esteem? There are several steps you can take to improve your self-esteem.
First, talk to a trusted friend and listen to their assessments and constructive criticisms. Consider the observations your friend has to make concerning your attitudes and behaviors. A trusted friend can reveal traits that you do not realize you possess. Everyone has “blind spots” concerning their attitudes and behaviors. Sometimes you are too hard on yourself concerning your faults and other times you may excuse your faults and attitudes. The observations of someone you can trust can help you see things about yourself that you are unwilling or unable to see on your own.
Second, learn to love yourself. The advice is not new and it sounds simple. But you need to assess whether you truly accept yourself as you are. You may want to improve how you look or how you react to certain situations, but do your accept your self as you are now. You cannot improve yourself if you do not accept who you are right now. Do not compare yourself to someone else. There is only one you. As one of Whitney Houston’s songs says, “Learning to love your self is the greatest love of all.”
Third, be content. Contentment is being satisfied with what you have. Do not forget all the good things you already possess. Dwelling on your doubts, fears, and insecurities will distract you from being content. Nobody is perfect. Contentment and self-acceptance are virtues that will help you possess positive self-esteem.
