Boston, Massachusetts is usually not a city that people think about for Las Vegas or New York City type debauchery.
Sure, Boston has a lively nightlife and particularly in recent years has an increasing number of hip clubs, restaurants and hotels.
But Boston still shuts down relatively early, and its roots in Puritanism are still quite evident. Boston is also a college town, which means a good portion of the population, while surely participating in their own form of fun, is not partaking in the types of things that make places like Las Vegas famous. I’m quite sure you’ll never hear the slogan, “What happens in Boston stays in Boston.”
Or will you?
Well, you won’t literally. But do not underestimate the more adult oriented fun that Boston offers. I have spent a lot of time in Boston, though I live in New York City, and I can tell you that if you are looking for some fun at a wide range of strip joints, Boston has nothing to be ashamed of!
Most strip joints near Boston are actually outside of Boston, but easily accessible. Unlike New York, the drawback is that car transportation is usually needed, so it’s often best to call a Boston area car service if you are planning a night out that will include drinking along with the lap dances!
Here is my list , in no particular order, of some of Boston’s best strip joints. After each I’ve given a description as to when it might be your ‘best choice’. Obviously, these can be interchangeable, but to provide a flavor for what kind of place it is, I give an example for when you might most want to visit it.
The Golden Banana in Peabody is a sentimental favorite of mine. As a college student in Boston in the late 1980’s, the Golden Banana was the first strip joint I ever visited. They have recently done a renovation, but the vibe remains very much the same. In a strange way, the lack of character IS in fact the Golden Banana’s unique character, if that makes any sense. But it is an unapologetically retro type of Boston strip joint, even though that doesn’t seem to have been its objective.
The dancers at the Golden Banana are decent at worst and above average at best. They are not overly friendly…and at some places that would bother me. But at the Golden Banana, this lack of friendliness is accompanied by very reasonable prices for drinks and enthusiastic lap dances. While I admit that I’m perhaps a bit biased given my history here, if in the right mood, this is a good place to stop for a beer on the way by and have a no muss, no fuss lap dance with a good looking woman. The music is loud, perhaps a bit too loud at times, but overall it’s a fun experience and given its northern suburbs location, safety is not a concern. Unlike the infamous, and now shut down, Combat Zone, which housed Boston’s most notorious strip joints for generations, you’re never looking over your shoulder and wondering if something is about to go down (no pun intended).
Golden Banana is one of the Best Boston Strip Joints For: An after work beer and lap dance in the middle of the week.
The Cabaret Lounge in Peabody is very near the Golden Banana (across the street and due south by about a mile). By all rights, I should like this one better. The girls are hotter, the place is a bit more upscale and the music a little less overwhelming. But given that it’s not near some of the truly high end places in the Boston area, I see it as a middle ground. Like Mr. Miyagi said, “Walk on one side of road, safe. Walk on other side of road, safe. Walk in the middle? Squash like grape!” He was talking about karate. But he could have been talking about Boston strip joints too.
I’m being a bit hard on this place. It is one of my favorite Boston area strip joints or it wouldn’t even be on this list. It’s not a bad place to go at all, in fact, I’ve never walked out thinking I wouldn’t go back. And it’s actually probably more popular overall with my friends than the Golden Banana is.
The Cabaret Lounge is one of the Best Boston Strip Joints for: Just one quick beer and lapdance after visiting the Golden Banana. Or vice versa.
Club Alex’s in Stoughton may in some ways the South Shore equivalent to the Golden Banana, but in reality it’s quite different. Club Alex’s is ambitious. For example, adult film stars are frequent special performers here and they invariably draw a crowd. Also, Club Alex’s sponsors and organizes an annual golf tournaments. In a way, Club Alex’s seems to aspire to creating a lifestyle type of experience rather than the straightforward bump and grind of the Golden Banana. If you think I’m making too much of this distinction, you’re probably partially right. But hey, different strip clubs for different moods and times, right?
Club Alex’s is one of the Best Boston Strip Joints For: An after golf stop with your golfing buddies before heading home.
The Foxy Lady in Brockton is a spin off of the famous Foxy Lady in Providence. I have been to both and the one in Brockton really doesn’t miss a beat from the original. The criticism might be that it’s a bit too high end (the Golden Banana this is not). The women are virtually all gorgeous…in fact maybe TOO gorgeous, as it’s pretty clear that most of them have had man made help! That said, this is a fun night out. The Foxy Lady pays attention to detail. My friends and I hosted a bachelor party here and it was outstanding, albeit pricey. But going to the Foxy Lady, while expensive, never really feels like a rip off because it’s all as advertised. High end champagne, cigars and scotch are available. The different theme rooms are clean and not too well lit! The girls mean business, but there is not quite the hustle you might find at a place like Scores in New York. Special attractions are frequent, with adult stars and winners of things like, “Ms. Nude Entertainer” frequently visiting.
The Foxy Lady is one of the Best Boston Strip Joints For: A destination type of bachelor party with all the bells and whistles.
Centerfolds Boston is actually the only strip joint on this list that is actually located in Boston proper. This is an extremely high end strip club. To me, Centerfolds Boston is a place you go as much, if not more, for the ‘show’ and experience as you do for a beer and an arousing lapdance. It can be a bit over the top for some, but I like it. Let me clarify. I like it at the right time and for the right occasion. For example, after a business diner (or the venue for a business dinner), Centerfolds Boston is a good pick. An expense account is definitely a good thing to be armed with. Centerfolds Boston offers things like complimentary buffet lunches during the day, and, somewhat surprisingly, an amateur night during the week as well.
As you might expect, the dancers here are very high end. They are gorgeous and often flawless, though not for those looking for ‘real woman’ or ‘girl next door’ types. One nice feature here is that Centerfolds Boston will send a car to pick you up at your home (or hotel) and drive you if you call ahead.
Centerfolds Boston is one of the Best Boston Strip Joints for: A high powered client “meeting”.
So while Boston is not exactly a mecca for strip joints and debauchery, but it certainly holds its own with a number of very good establishments within a twenty minute drive.
