Battered men are being abused by women every day, but it is rarely reported. Domestic violence laws are enacted with women in mind. If a battered man calls the police after being abused by a woman you can bet your last dollar that it is the man that will be arrested.
An abusive woman will lie about her behavior to justify her actions, and the explanation is expressed with tears, fear, or anger. In her mind she did nothing wrong, he is the one that caused the violent episode, even when she initiated the violence. A heated argument can quickly turn physical, if her underlying rage builds she will lash out at him; most men do not hit back because they know they could easily hurt her, so they often try to restrain her.
Sadly, abusive women will not ackknowledge their anger or self-control issues; they have no remorse, and refuse to take responsibilities for their actions.
However, it takes two to duel. Either both parties come out fighting. Or one party is swinging and the other is blocking. The latter is usually the case with battered men and abusive women; she launches a physical attack and he takes a defensive stance to block her blows.
What causes abusive behavior in women? The cause can be simple or complex. Insecurity, jealousy, a need to control, craving attention, drug or alcohol abuse, lack of self-esteem or self-control, and many other deep seated unresolved issues may cause a woman to resort to physical, emotional or verbal abuse.
To avoid accepting responsibility for their actions an abusive woman will focus on what the man did, imagined or real, that caused her actions. How a person reacts in any situation is a personal choice, or an uncontrolled reaction that needs to be recognized and changed.
“Assaults by Women on Their Spouses or Male Partners: Virtually all sociological data shows women initiate domestic violence as often as men, that women use weapons more than men, and that 38% of injured victims are men.” reported by Police Link – The Nation’s Law Enforcement Community
Domestic violence by women is on the rise. “Women charged with domestic abuse has rocketed by 159 percent.” Reported news online’s Cassie White – ABC news report
Whether it is physical, emotional, verbal, or financial abuse – men that are victims of domestic violence should be protected under the same laws as women.
Women that hit, kick, shove, scratch, criticize, threaten, etc. when they are angry are abusive.
Dr. Nancy Davis, Ph.D. In “The Abusive Woman” describes some interesting personality traits of these women. To briefly paraphrase some of the content:
“They attract men into relationships the same way abusive men do by being very nice in the beginning, and building up his self-esteem. Initially she never gets angry, appears to enjoy sex, and doesn’t try to control him.
Once she feels he loves her, she begins to change, she’ll put him down, and belittle him. She is always displeased with him, and blames him for everything.
She will play the victim to others, however, get to know her, and it becomes apparent that she refuses to take responsibility for her own chaotic life.
She usually doesn’t have close friendships with other women unless they are family members. She’s very dependent on her mother, yet, she will often complain about her. She may call her mother several times a day.
These women have a pent up rage that isn’t always obvious. When this rage surfaces it is very intense.
She is very vindictive. She rarely gives up on attacking someone she strongly dislikes. She will keep at it when other people would have let go of the anger and moved on.
Nothing is ever her fault. She will lie. She feels no guilt, and lacks self-awareness.
She uses sex to get a man, but usually does not like sex; it’s a tool she uses to manipulate men. Once she believes she has the man she quickly looses interest in sex. These women may actually hate men.
An abusive woman may hit, scratch, shove or throw things, and she spends most of her time degrading him and trying to destroy his self-esteem. If she senses that she has pushed him too far, she switches behaviors and becomes sweet and loving. Until she thinks she has convinced him that she has changed; then she returns to her abusive ways.”
You can read the complete original content of The Abusive Woman by Nancy Davis, Ph.D. Go here.
Break the Silence. Break the Violence.
Battered men speak up about abusive women! Stop the cycle of domestic Violence!
Reference:
- shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/07/27/how-emotionally-abusive-women-control-you-the-fea
- www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=52347
- www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=168
