I chose to do this reflection paper on the different styles of parenting and the disciplining of each style. This can determine both the risk factors and protective factors in a child’s life. The three styles are: Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive.
In the first article by D. Baumrind, she explains the different parenting types and how someone’s childhood can have a huge impact on the type of parent they become. First, there is the Authoritarian style. This is one of which the parent feels the need to control. They value obedience and demand respect. They feel they are superior to their children and they make it known. The child is often fearful. They also give harsher punishments. They do reward, but it is usually in a bribery manner. Many parents in this category set high expectations for their children, which many cannot meet.
At the other end of the spectrum, is Permissive parenting. These parents do not control their children, it is more like the other way around. There is no discipline, and the child grows up knowing they can get whatever they want. When the parent does try to discipline, the child doesn’t take it seriously. These parents give in easily and avoid confrontation whenever possible.
Then, there’s Authoritative parenting. This style is considered to be the best of the three. These parents set standards, but also give their child choices. They recognize the good things that their child does, but they do not overlook the bad things. These parents are more confident and nurturing. They set standards that their child can meet. Usually, this type of parenting leads to a positive self image in the child.
The Authoritarian parent usually has a history of an unhappy childhood. This type of person may have been anxious and withdrawn as a child, and learned to have poor reactions to frustration. As an adult, this person reacts by showing that he can control something in his life: his child.
A person’s childhood can play a major role in the type of parent they become. The Permissive parent usually has a history of low self esteem, and is sometimes known as antisocial. These people become rebellious when an interest is challenged, and they have low persistence during any challenging task. Therefore, it is easier to just let a child do whatever he wants.
The Authoritative parent, however, is shown to have been happy and confident as a child. This person would have developed social skills and be able to handle tough situations without resorting to violence or rebellion.
In the second article by Sue Dinwiddie, she refers to the Authoritative style as the “Assertive-Democratic” style. She focuses on teaching children the importance of making correct decisions and following rules. This is a good example of the Learning perspective. Her idea suggests that this type of parenting will help children learn the best ways to respond to situations. It can also help a child become more responsible by learning that there are consequences to certain decisions.
The third article, “Parenting and Discipline”, focuses on the environmental perspective. The idea here is that no matter what parenting style we use, it is a combination of the school, the neighborhood and the community that plays the most important role in a child’s life.
I feel that this is an accurate perception. It is great for a child to have a good relationship with his parents. But what if, for example, he goes to school and kids tease him? Or say he has a hard time keeping his grades up? Those things are going to have an impact on him as much, if not more, than his relationship with his parents. Also, if he lives in a bad neighborhood and his peers are using drugs or alcohol, that could be a big influence on how he deals with his problems. Of course, I believe that it will be a great protective factor for him if he does have parents that will support him. But if the situation were reversed, I feel that if his relationship with his parents is not a very good one, then the proper support from his friends and teachers could be a big help to him.
Before this class, I never really considered what a major influence a child’s environment can have. I knew about the “nature vs. nurture” theory, but I would have thought that the child’s parents would have the most influence on them. But after examining all aspects of a child’s life, I feel that a child’s peers, school and community are even more important.
References
Baumrind, Diana (2003, August) Parenting Styles. Retrieved April 7, 2006, from http://www.devpsy.org/teaching/parent/baumrind_styles.html
Dinwiddie, Sue (2000, April 20) Effective Parenting Styles. Retrieved April 7, 2006, from http://kidsource.com/better.world.press/parenting.html
World Works. Parenting and Discipline. Life Matters. Retrieved April 7, 2006 from http://lifematters.com/parenting_and_discipline.asp
