Do you dread putting your children to sleep? Is bedtime the most frustrating time of your day? Does the glimpse of the setting of the sun cause your blood pressure to rise? If so, you are not alone! You are one of millions of parents who face the foreboding struggle of bedtime.
Many parents, in search of the elusive silent slumber have received expert advice from parenting books, obtained wisdom from various relatives and friends, used coercion, anger, every known positive and negative reinforcement, and even tried a few over-the-counter “helps” as a last resort, and still bedtime remains THE trial of the day.
Is it possible to make bedtime pleasant? It may take some changes but with the investment of a little time and energy, bedtime can be a peaceful, quiet, and enjoyable experience for both children and parents. If bedtime is enjoyable, children will look forward to the event.
There are four essential keys to getting a baby, toddler, or child peacefully to bed: (1) readiness, (2) relaxation, (3) routine, and (4) rituals. With the implementation of these four simple techniques, bedtime will be magically transformed from horrible to happy in no time!
Readiness
Most children have difficulty going from energetic play to sleep without some time to quiet down so it is vital that young people have time to transition. It is essential to give children some time to adjust to the notion of bedtime. Fifteen minutes prior to bedtime, announce that bedtime is approaching. Concrete indicators like singing a familiar song, flicking the lights, or a simple clapping game may be good and consistent cues signaling the end of play. Some parents find a timer helpful for toddlers who have yet to conceptualize time. Providing soothing music is another way to move children into a state of quiet relaxation.
Relaxation
Once a child receives appropriate notice of the impending bedtime, the next step is to help her relax and slow down. How do we help children unwind? We use all their senses to create feelings of calm. Research shows specific smells, sounds, lighting, touch, and even tastes and nutrients can bring a sense of serenity and security. All children respond differently to sensory stimulation so it is essential that parents respond to the specific needs of a child as they develop their bedtime strategy.
While each child is unique and will require or desire, specific sensory experiences, it is beneficial to utilize all the available tools at one’s disposal. The more the body, mind, and emotions experience a sense of calm and comfort, the more the child will relax. Try utilizing some of the following ideas:
Touch – A warm bath with a few drops of lavender essential oils; soft, unrestricted clothing, a gentle massage with scented lotion, and comfortable, appropriate pillows and blankets are all possible ways to facilitate relaxation.
Smells – Scents of lavender and vanilla are particularly good for promoting relaxation. Try placing a few drops of essential oils in a warm bath or rubbing lavender massage lotion on a child’s hand and feet as they prepare for bed.
Sounds – Gentle music or peaceful sounds of nature are particularly helpful for relaxation. Some babies benefit from simulated heartbeat sounds or even white noise.
Sight – A dark room may be uncomfortable for some children, while bright lights promote alertness. A darkened room with a dim light may be most appropriate.
Taste – The important thing here is, prior to bedtime, eliminate those foods that stimulate, and make sleep difficult for children. Avoid spicy foods as well as sweets, soda, and candy. Eating late at night will also make bedtime more difficult. Warm milk is a mild sedative and may be helpful.
Propreoceptive – This is the sense of one’s body in space. Some children feel a sense of relaxation through the sense of heavy blankets placed upon them, others are uncomfortable with even a light blanket. Notice what works best for each child.
Routine
Human beings thrive on routine. This is particularly true for babies and toddlers for whom life seems unpredictable. To help with bedtime, it is important to create an individualized routine and stick with it. This is not always easy to start, but once a routine becomes a habit it will make bedtime immeasurably easier! If a child is old enough, encourage him to help create the perfect bedtime routine. During the day, sit together and make a chart or a list of how the perfect bedtime will unfold. Exactly what the routine entails is not nearly as important as the fact that there is a consistently held routine.
Rituals
Rituals are simply behaviors designed to make an ordinary event special. Bedtime, while often a time of frustration and anger, can be a very comforting and memorable time for children when loving rituals are a part of the experience. Some children enjoy a special song while others may want a particular book or a funny story. A warm bath and gentle massage prior to bedtime often works wonders for infants and babies. Some children enjoy a few relaxing yoga postures just before bed. Try closing the day by expressing the depth of your love to your child, proclaiming her most endearing qualities, or sharing the story of her birth. A nighttime prayer or a few minutes reflecting on the great events of the day often give children a sense of peace before sleep.
Most importantly, find the particular calming and soothing activities that promote feelings of peace and comfort for each individual child. While it may take a few days to establish the perfect routine, the effort will be well worth it. What was once the most challenging time of the day will be a pleasant time filled with love, security, and emotional connection.
Reference:
- Lil’s Lavendar: www.lilslavendar.comBaby Sleep System: www.babysleepsystem.comGreat Relaxation: www.greatrelaxationmusic.com
