Let’s Define the Alpha Male
There seems to be a misconception that an Alpha Male is a man who is totally full of himself and his machismo. That would be what is commonly referred to as an egomaniacal jerk.
The Alpha Male in nature is the male leader to whom all others defer. He gets first food and water rights, as well as first mating rights. He is powerful, strong, and the leader of his pack, which he defends with his very life, if need be. He provides for his family (usually) while the female cares for the offspring (usually).
In human males, many of these same attributes apply to the true Alpha Male. He is strong and powerful naturally. . .not by persuasion. Grunting and facial hair do not an Alpha Male make. The Alpha Male is a natural leader, and naturally attracts human females. Human females are hard-wired to respond on a primal level to the “best” of the species so that we may produce the “best” offspring with them. It has to do with the survival of the fittest of the species, and the natural process of selection.
Why Women Are Attracted to the Alpha Male
Since I am a bonafide Alpha Female, I can only speak to the reasons why an Alpha Female would be so strongly attracted to an Alpha Male, though some of these reasons may also apply to non-alpha females.
Possessing our own high amounts of strength and power, we naturally are drawn to those males who can not only be our match, but also actually outdo us, just a little. We seek the challenge and the primal knowledge that we are with a male who is actually a little bit stronger and more powerful than we are. Any male not at least as strong as we are will just naturally be steam-rolled by our strength and power. We simply cannot be with a man whom we deem to be weaker than ourselves. It is not in our nature to do so. This does not mean we look down upon non-Alpha males. We just recognize that a match with one would not work long-term for most of us. By that same token, we cannot be with a man who is so much more powerful than we are that we become steam-rolled, ourselves. It is all about balance and equality: being equally-yoked.
Since we, ourselves, will fight to the death to protect our offspring, we naturally respond well to a mate who would do the same. In fact, it is a pre-requisite that our mate be at least as protective of our offspring and us as we are of our offspring, and them.
Can An Alpha Male Be Tender?
The Alpha Male can absolutely cry, be tender, and show love and affection for his mate and offspring. What makes him the Alpha Male is not machismo, but his natural strengths. Emotions and affection are not signs of weakness. In actuality, it takes far more strength and courage to show your emotions and affection, than to hide them. Even in nature, wild male animals have been documented as showing signs of mourning and grief over the loss of a mate, or offspring. The true Alpha Male is well-rounded and secure in himself. He understands his own power, and his place in the world. He seeks a mate who is his equal. Only Mr. Machismo seeks a mate whom he can dominate.
Emasculating the Alpha Male
Sadly, not only has the misconception of what a true Alpha Male is contributed to the emasculating of all men, but the media of our culture plays the leading role. Everywhere you turn there are commercials, TV programs, and movies which portray the lead male as a hopeless doofus who couldn’t possibly function without the aid of others: usually his smart-mouth wife and back-talking children. They are shown to be irresponsible, lazy, uninvolved, and clueless.
And the men who actually are portrayed as an Alpha? Their behavior gets over exaggerated into total machismo and egomaniacal dysfunction. Suddenly, it is wrong for men to be men, and they are routinely put down and mocked for those very things that make them the irresistibly delightful creatures that they are. What a tragedy for us all.
