The NHL season has begun once again. How do I know this? Is it because I’m a huge NHL fan and have been counting down the days to the new NHL season? No. Is it because some hockey fan has excitedly informed me that the NHL season is beginning? No.
The only reason I know that the NHL season has started is because last night on Sportscenter the resident NHL expert Barry Melrose made an appearance. I’m obviously no NHL expert but even I can tell that ESPN’s coverage of the NHL is not very good.
I know that ESPN’s coverage of the NHL isn’t very good simply because even when the NHL expert is brought on Sportscenter they only talk about the NHL about fifty percent of the time. The other fifty percent is spent talking about Barry Melrose’s hair.
I’m not sure what the deal is with Barry Melrose’s hair but everybody at ESPN raves about it. Whenever Barry Melrose is on Sportscenter the other anchors always start the “NHL coverage” by asking about his hair and then they end the “NHL coverage” by commenting on his hair again.
Often on ESPN Radio you’ll hear sports talk radio hosts talking about Barry Melrose’s hair. This man’s head is talked about more at the ESPN water coolers than the New York Yankees, and that’s a lot.
The most mind boggling thing about the fascination with Barry Melrose’s hair is that it doesn’t even look that good. It looks like a gray skunk fell on Barry Melrose’s head and then died there. Barry Melrose’s mop is also greasy like he hasn’t washed it in about three years, probably because he’s afraid the skunk will wake up.
It’s one of the many frustrating aspects of Sportscenter. I live in Alabama. There isn’t a hockey team here so it’s never in the local sports. There aren’t any television stations that carry hockey here either. I’d love to try to get into the NHL but my only source for NHL coverage is Sportscenter and they are too busy talking about hair, hair that doesn’t even look good.
Is it really too much to ask to have Sportscenter actually inform and teach people on the NHL or at the very least stick to that subject. Does ESPN just not know anything about hockey so they have to waste time on Barry Melrose’s hair? They never ask Peter Gammons about his hair. They never ask Kirk Herbstreet about his hair.
Maybe the Sportscenter anchors are enamored with Barry Melrose’s hair simply because there is a lot of it and they’re all suffering a mid-life crisis and are losing all their hair but if my hair looked Barry Melrose’s then I would want it to fall out.
