The fire is lit, the blanket on the floor, and the picnic basket of exotic foods sits next to Larry while he reaches inside to pull out grapes and erotically feeds them to his lover. Her pouty lips reach up to meet his fingers, and she sucks the morsels into her mouth. Larry leans forward, quickly replacing his fingers with his lips on hers.
Her hands come up around his neck, pulling him down to her, closer, pressing her body against his while he lays her down on the blanket. The intensity of the kissing increases, her body moving in time with his, clothing removed in a frantic rush. Their breath comes in rapid succession, and she gasps, ready for the moment he…
“Oh, baby. Oh. It’s okay. That’s all right,” she murmurs, trying to hide her disappointment.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “This doesn’t usually happen to me.”
Sound familiar?
If it does, don’t feel bad. Statistics show premature ejaculation is a problem for anywhere from 20-40% of all men on a regular basis, and just about every man will occasionally experience PE.
Doesn’t matter which side of the coin you’re on, premature ejaculation can lead to disappointment in sexual relations, particularly when it happens frequently inside of a committed sexual relationship. There are treatments and steps to take to help prevent premature ejaculation though.
What is premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation has many different definitions, depending on who you talk to about it. The simple answer is that premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs before the man is ready. However, since different men have different ideas of how long he should be able to sustain an erection prior to ejaculation, a better definition is that premature ejaculation is when ejaculation occurs shortly after initial penetration.
It’s important to note that most men actually only maintain an erection during penetration for less than 10 minutes before ejaculation occurs. For many men, it’s less than five minutes, most of the time, and this perfectly normal. Premature ejaculation is that which occurs prior to this 5-10 minute time frame from initial penetration to ejaculation. If you or your partner can maintain an erection without ejaculation for at least 10 minutes, this is not premature ejaculation, even if you would like it to last longer.
Is premature ejaculation a medical or mental condition?
That depends on the man, the situation, and a few other factors. There are medical conditions that can cause premature ejaculation, and there are mental or emotional situations that can cause it too. Inexperience, overexcitement, and excess stimulation can all lead to premature ejaculation.
Medically speaking, there are rarely physical reasons for premature ejaculation, such as disease or body dysfunction, although oversensitivity to stimulus can lead to PE.
Can premature ejaculation be treated with medication?
In a word, no. There have been recent products tested to try to numb the area stimulated so as to prolong ejaculation, but most of these are not tested for efficacy, and some of them could in fact be dangerous. It is not recommended a man use any type of cream, spray or powder to numb or desensitize the penis, because this could actually lead to nerve damage and decreased sensation, which could ultimately ruin sex for the man.
So does that mean nothing can be done about premature ejaculation? We just have to live with it?
No, not at all.
First, one way to avoid premature ejaculation is to ejaculate prior to sexual activity with a partner, because the second time in the same day should take longer than the first time.
Another prevention trick some doctors have told patients who suffer from premature ejaculation to try is for the man to go commando — that is, to not wear underwear. The extra stimulus on the sexual organ can help with prolonging ejaculation.
More foreplay can help with premature ejaculation, provided the male is paying attention to his partner during the foreplay rather than the other way around. When a man reaches near orgasm but delays it several times, when penetration occurs, he will likely be able to last longer.
Shallow penetration, particularly in the beginning stages, can help delay ejaculation. Plus, the most sensitive part of the woman is the first few inches anyway, so this provides less stimulation for the man but more for the woman, a win/win situation.
Practice makes perfect.
Yes, having more sex on a regular basis actually can help with premature ejaculation. If your wife or girlfriend is complaining about PE, just tell them you need to have sex more often, because practice makes perfect.
