Most people when they hear the word feminist automatically envision a bra burning, hairy legged, man-hating lesbian on a singular mission to bash any idea that she should be remotely “girly” simply because she is a woman. Do I really have to tell you how outdated and disproportioned this idea of what a feminist should look like really is? What does the modern day feminist look like? Well, look around you, she could be the soccer mom taking her children to their game, she could be the CEO on a power lunch with other executives, she could be your children’s Sunday school teacher, or even the woman next to you in line at the grocery store. Modern feminism is more about a set of ideals than someone’s appearance.
To say that someone could not possibly be a feminist because they wear makeup and love a man would be like saying someone could not possibly be a Christian because they dress in a Goth fashion and listen to heavy metal. The outward appearance of a feminist is truly not any different than that of anyone else, and to be a feminist a woman does not have to be a radical making demands to every passerby who will remotely listen. The ideals and beliefs that a woman holds within her heart are what define her, not only as having a feminist or traditionalist mindset, but also in whom she is. There are many misconceptions about what most feminists today believe, people often associate the most radical views with the concept of feminism, so let’s look at the ideas people perceive to be what a feminist should be and what most truly are.
The first inaccurate view of feminism is based solely on how a true feminist should appear to the outside world. The misconception is that a true feminist will cast away society’s views of beauty and set their own standards. While it is true that a most feminists will attest to the fact that they set their own standards of physical beauty and do not rely on media images or men’s opinions to do it for them, that does not necessarily mean that the standard’s they set will be outside of what society considers the norm. In fact, most women, feminist or not, shave their legs and their underarms, wear bras and makeup, and probably even get manicures and pedicures should the opportunity present itself. The true idea behind feminism is not to set yourself apart from societal norms to let people know on site the beliefs that you espouse, but rather to use your own judgment in determining what is right for you as a woman and an individual. If you awake to find that you want to wear a beautiful dress and stilettos simply because it makes you fell sexy or better, then by all means wear them. But, don’t let society dictate that this is how you should dress.
Another misconception that many people have about feminism or feminists as a group is that they are all man-haters. The truth in the matter is the fact that a woman supports other women in having their own ideas and lives has nothing at all to do with their ability to love a man. Just because a woman does not feel that she should be forced to have her actions dictated by her male counterparts does not in any way suggest that she cannot have a completely satisfying relationship with mutual trust and friendship with some lucky man. It simply means that the men in her life will have to learn to accept the idea that she does not feel as if she is less than they are simply based on the fact that she is a woman, and while she will respect and value their opinion she will also believe that she was given the gift of a sound mind for a reason, and will not simply accept their beliefs as her own. That is not to say that she will never agree with them, because in all honesty in order to have a satisfying relationship with anyone mutual beliefs and values will at some point have to find common ground, but she probably will never agree with them just because that is what is expected.
People commonly associate feminism with lesbianism. While there are feminists who also happen to be lesbians, being a feminist in no way dictates that a woman must be a lesbian as well. Sexual preference is as far removed from a woman’s views on feminism as it is from her views on baseball. I consider myself to be a feminist, and I have a loving husband and a beautiful child who mean the world to me. The fact that I proudly take the view that women are equal to men in every respect and should be treated as such truly never came up when I was discovering my sexuality. It just wasn’t an issue for me, so I am often perplexed by the idea that in order to hold feminist beliefs one must also hold another woman when they go to bed.
Another misconception about feminism and women that has always truly bothered me is that if a woman supports a feminist view point she does not appreciate or respect courtesies given to her by men simply because she is a woman. I am sure that there are some women who would be offended by a man opening a door for her or curbing the language they used when she came into the room. However, for the majority of us, the common courtesies of opening a door for us or curbing foul language in our presence are not at all offensive, merely a sign of good breeding. Because face it, no they would not do this for other men, but just because we have feminist view points does not make us less of a woman. When a man shows these respects to a woman, it should be appreciated for the respectful gesture to her womanhood that it is.
The final misconception that I have faced that really annoyed me is that a woman could not possibly be a feminist and supportive of traditional gender roles. I love to cook supper for my husband and child, and I take pride in the fact that no one can care for my child the way that I can. I also love the fact that I work outside my home, and am damn good at what I do. The ideals of feminism are not based on who cooks the supper or cleans the kitchen, but rather on the fact that it is not automatically assumed to be a woman’s role to do these things.
Feminism is a touchy subject for many people, but that is mainly due to public misconceptions regarding what exactly feminism is. The confusion is rife for not only men but women as well. So, to give you a better idea of what your modern feminist is let me tell you exactly who I am. I am a wife and mother who loves to cook, clean and take care of my child. I love pretty lingerie, getting my hair done, makeup and a pair of blue jeans that fit just right. I love my job in a predominantly male industry, where I thank my guys daily for opening doors for me and for curbing their language when I enter a room. I also believe that I am just as smart and funny as any man. I can do anything that a man can do, and have my own special and unique talents that no one, man or woman, can take away from. I believe that I am entitled to the same benefits and compensation for the work that I do as that of my male counterparts, and that I had the same right to be educated to reach my current position. I believe voting is not only my right, but also my duty as an American citizen. And finally, I believe that feminism is alive and well in women of all ages, sexual orientations, and fashion senses across this great nation.
