A Bar Mitzvah is an important rite of passage in Judaism that celebrate a boy’s coming of age. Held at the age of thirteen, these religious services mark the time at which a boy becomes accountable to Jewish law and the Jewish community. During the ceremony, a boy will read a portion of the Torah in front of the congregation. Following the religious ceremony, there is typically a reception.
An invitation to a Bar Mitzvah raises an important consideration: what to wear to a bar mitzvah. For the most part, the answer is simple. You should wear formal or semi-formal attire and dress with an eye towards respecting the sacred nature of the ceremony. You should dress in a dignified manner and avoid outfits that draw attention to you-leave the bright colors at home and instead opt for blacks, grays, and navy blues. Additionally, men should know that an important part of Bar Mitzvah etiquette is to wear a yarmulke if available even if they are not Jewish-it is an important sign of respect.
It’s also important to remember that these days, Bar Mitzvahs can vary widely. Some Bar Mitzvahs will be very traditional whereas others might be based on a specific theme, which may have ramifications for what you wear. It’s always important to read the invitation carefully and consult your host with any questions.
Some specific ideas of what to wear to a Bar Mitzvah include:
- Ideally, men should dress formally for a Bar Mitzvah and wear a suit and tie. This is appropriate for both Bar Mitzvah boys and guests. It is the ideal outfit to wear to a Bar Mitzvah and is the preferred option.
- Women should wear a nice, modest dress while paying special attention to neck and hem lines. Dresses should come below the knees and should not display any cleavage. Additionally, in many congregations a woman’s arms must be covered, so it is best to wear a dress that provides such covering.
- For men who do not want to wear a suit, instead wear a sports jacket, a nice shirt and tie, a nice pair of slacks, and a nice pair of dress shoes. Many men find this to be more comfortable than wearing a suit-especially if the reception follows immediately after the Bar Mitzvah. Another idea is to bring a jacket for the ceremony but then remove it for the reception.
- A good option for women who want to be a little more fashionable than wearing a long dress is to wear a dress of moderate length-covering the knees-and a shawl, shrug, or some type of arm covering. This would be nice if you want to wear a sleeveless dress to the reception but are concerned about having your arms covered during the ceremony.
- For women, if you do not want to wear a dress, you can also choose to wear a nice pants suit. As with any dress you might consider wearing to a bar mitzvah, the suit should be loose-fitting and modest. A special note: while this is allowed in many congregations, at more conservative ones it would be looked down upon. If you are considering wearing a pants suit, consult the hosts ahead of time.
