“Dinner for Schmucks” is a 2010 comedy starring Paul Rudd and Steve Carell. Paul Rudd plays a man, Tim, trying to impress his boss by winning a competition on who can bring the biggest idiot to a dinner. Steve Carell plays the so-called idiot, Barry. The following are some funny dialogue scenes from the movie which was written by David Guion and Michael Handleman, adapted from a Francis Veber script called The Dinner Game.
No. 10 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Tim: I love you so much. You’re stunning and you’re smart and you’re just awful at pronunciation. I’m not fewking around here, marry me?
No. 9 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Tim: Susana, I know this is painful for you but sometimes in life you have to do the right thing. Just lie.
No. 8 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Mueller: My father left me with very little except all his money.
No. 7 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Tim: Say that your girlfriend thinks meat is murder and she convinces you to become a vegetarian, and then one day you’re grilling up a veggie burger and all of a sudden a chicken comes up, plucks itself, covers itself in barbecue sauce, and flings itself on the grill. That’s God sending a message, right?
Susana: Yeah, the chicken wants to die.
No. 6 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Barry: …In the words of John Lennon, “you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not.”
Tim: …the only one.
Barry: The only what?
Tim: No, that’s the lyric. “You may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one.”
Barry (sarcastically): Oh, ok Tim.
No. 5 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Tim: You know, Barry, this was a very strange way to meet but I think everything happens for a reason.
Barry: Whoa, whoa, did you make that up?
Tim: Yeah.
Barry: Wow, “everything happens… for a reason.” I like that.
Tim: Thanks, tomorrow I’m having dinner with some friends…
Barry: Are you? That’s incredible. Congratulations.
No. 4 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Mueller (to Tim): It’s rare to find an American businessman with a sense of culture.
(Tim’s phone rings): “If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, if you’re not into yoga…”
No. 3 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Tim (after hitting Barry with his car): I hope those (photos) aren’t for your lawyer?
Barry: No, I would rather not have lawyers get involved.
Tim: Alright, I get it… You said you were fine but what would it take to keep the lawyers out?
Barry: …Five.
Tim: Oh…
Barry: Five dollars.
Tim: I don’t… what do you mean?
Barry: Ten dollars.
Tim: Seriously, what, come on?
Barry: How much do you want? …One hundred dollars.
Tim: I don’t want anything.
Barry: Five hundred dollars.
Tim: I don’t… It’s ok… As long as you’re ok then –
Barry: Ten thousand dollars!
Tim: Ok, I’ll take ten thousand dollars.
Barry: …I don’t have ten thousand dollars.
No. 2 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Barry: Where are you from?
Mueller: We are from Switzerland.
Barry: Switzerland. I love Switzerland. It’s one of my favorite countries. I love your army knives with the toothpicks, and your cheese. Does the cheese come out of the cows with the holes? Our countries are not enemies. They are friends. We are friends.
No. 1 Funny Dinner for Schmucks Quote
Birgit: You have been to Switzerland?
Barry: No, but I have a friend who drives a Volvo. And I speak a little of your language, “her des pee dee per de boo”.
