In an article over a year ago I talked about how I was appalled that in sports today there are not very many good nicknames anymore. This is especially true in baseball. Barry Bonds can’t get a good nickname? Jeff Bagwell is called “Bags.” Why? Because he has baggy pants? Because he carries bags? Because he has bags under his eyes? No, it’s just shorter than Bag-well. And we can’t get Alex Rodriguez something other than the very lame A-Rod. It’s too bad that the lack of baseball nicknames have occurred because baseball has some of the greatest nicknames ever. These are what I think are the 10 greatest nicknames in baseball history.
#10 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: “Wild Thing” Mitch Williams No pitcher has ever had a nickname that more perfectly described his style of pitching…actually, can you really call the way Mitch Williams pitched style? Maybe all Mitch Wiliams needed was some of Ricky Vaughn’s glasses.
#9 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: Lenny “Nails” Dkystra I was a New York Mets fan growing up and I was always a bigger fan of “Mookie” Wilson than Lenny “Nails” Dysktra, but I have to admit it was a pretty awesome nickname. Anybody named Nails has to be tough and gritty.
#8 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: “Chili” Davis I don’t like to make fun of people very often, not even jokingly. One of the few times it is okay to make fun of somebody though is when they get a bad hair cut. The nickname “Chili” was given to Charles Davis because he once got a bad haircut and his hair looked like a chili bowl.
#7 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: “The Wizard of Oz” Ozzie Smith When I was a kid I never really believed in magic like most kids do. That is until I saw Ozzie Smith play shortstop. Surely these plays that Ozzie Smith are making are humanly impossible It must be magic!
#6 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: Walter “Big Train” Johnson The big might suggest that Walter Johnson was big but it was actually the train part that described him, or described his fastball rather. Sports writer Grantland Rice called Walter Johnson the “Big Train” because his fastball was as fast as a train. I guess he added Big for effect.
#5 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: “The Mad Hungarian” I don’t have to see what Al Hrabosky looks like. I don’t have to see Al Hrabosky pitch. Once you told me his nickname was “The Mad Hungarian” I already didn’t ever want to face him.
#4 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: George “Highpockets” Kelly Most athletes that are tall get nicknames. There is the “Big Unit” in baseball, “Tree” Rollins in basketball and “Too Tall” Jones in football. But no nickname for a tall athlete has ever been better than George “Highpockets” Kelly. The name “Highpockets” was given to Kelly because he was so much taller than everybody else that his pockets were higher.
#3 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: “Duke” Snider “Duke” might not be as original or descriptive as these other nicknames but I like it just because his real first name is Edwin. When I think of Edwin for some reason I think of a young, geeky English boy with dark rimmed glasses, like Harry Potter. When I think of Duke I think of the leader of G. I. Joe. Going from Edwin to Duke might be the best name upgrade ever.
#2 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: Mordecai “Three Fingers” Brown Mordecai Brown lost parts of two of his fingers in a farm machinery accident. Of course anybody that is either missing fingers or has extra fingers is immediately mysterious and creepy, like Count Rugen in Princess Bride. (I don’t think Mordecai Brown killed anybody’s father though.) The first name Mordecai is also kind of creepy sounding and goes perfectly with his nickname. Almost as if his parents knew something ominous was going to happen to him. Hmmm…
#1 Greatest Nickname in Baseball History: “Shoeless Joe” Jackson” Not only does “Shoeless Joe” perfectly describe the time that Joe Jackson abandoned his shoes because he had blistered feet but it also adds to the aura of Joe Jackson. Sure Roger Clemens threw like a rocket and Walter Johnson threw like a big train, but this guy? This guy can play baseball without shoes!
