According to a study conducted by The University of Mexico,
“Only about 50% of married women experience orgasm with any consistency in their sexual relationship. 30% of single women are consistently orgasmic with a partner and approximately l5% of women never or almost never experience orgasm.”
What is keeping you away from sexual fulfillment?
Some psychological factors are: shame, fear, guilt, anger, inability to let go, fear of losing control, over-control, and religious orthodoxy.
Helen Singer-Chaplain, author of “New Sex Therapy” states, “There are millions of women who are sexually responsive, but who cannot have an orgasm during intercourse unless they receive simultaneous clitoral stimulation.”
There are two types of non-orgasmic women. One is called “Primary,” where the woman has never had an orgasm regardless of method. This means from masturbation to intercourse, nothing works.
The second group is called, “Secondary.” These are women who had orgasms before, but are not having them now. Statistically, most women do not have orgasms through vaginal sex without clitoral stimulation.
What can be done?
One, learn your body. If you do not know what is pleasurable or arousing then you cannot communicate that to a partner. Masturbation is the easiest method, even though there is the stigma that many carry about that, and the myths such as growing hair on your hands.
You relax; take a bath, or whatever to make you completely comfortable. Go to a place where you can be undisturbed while you explore your body.
Take two fingers moistened by lube, arousal, or saliva and run them over your clitoris. Some people engage in fantasy and pretend it is a lover or someone you would like to sleep with going over your body. Run your hands over your nipples, play with them. Do they get hard at the touch? As you are running your fingers over your clitoris you can go either in circular motion or up and down. You choose what feels good to you. Try different pressures and speed to get to the place of orgasm.
Vibrators are the next thing to try. They are powerful and easy to use. Try a standard one that can be purchased for less than $20. Order it online if you are uncomfortable going to an Adult shop. As with hand masturbation the trick is finding what turns you on. I recommend that you explore your clitoris the first time you use a vibrator. Since your vibrator should have various speeds, you can choose the one that best fits you.
Water is a good trick, but depending on how you do it, can be an interesting test of your flexibility. You can use a hand held shower head, something that lets you change the way the water comes out. Many women use the pulse setting. Again, let it explore your clitoris and find the spots that come alive from its touch. The flexibility test comes if you use a bathtub. You slide your butt down against the end of the tub and position yourself so that the water flow will land on your clitoris.
Whirlpool or Jacuzzi games are not for beginners, but will bring the desired results. The water spray pump out on your clitoris, but it is very powerful and can be numbing for a time. The sensation is like having oral sex. It cannot be done for long, but in general the results will be quick.
“If women’s masturbation habits are any indication, vaginal stimulation is less likely to result in orgasm than are activities that directly stimulate their clitoris. Ninety percent of women who masturbate do so by stimulating their clitoris. Only ten percent of women stimulate their vagina while masturbating, and even they usually stimulate their clitoris at the same time. When a woman masturbates, she is almost guaranteed an orgasm. Even if a woman’s clitoris was not her primary sensory sex organ, habit alone may dictate that she is most orgasmic from clitoral stimulation, not vaginal stimulation.”
The important thing for a non orgasmic woman is to learn to relax and enjoy the fun of exploring her body. When she knows herself she is relieved of the pressure of have an orgasm every time she is with someone.
Sources:
http://www.the-clitoris.com/
www.unm.edu/~shc1/orgasmic.html
