My friends and I love to talk about NBA basketball. Every once in awhile we get to wondering who the ugliest player in NBA history is. There have been a lot of funny looking players to play in the Association. Here is my top 5 ugliest players to lace it up on the hardwood.
Funky Lookin’ Five
1. Tyrone Hill: In my opinion he is the ugliest, scariest player in NBA history. My friend Paul has likened him to He-Man villain Skeletor and I am inclined to agree. Just look at his face. It looks like he is just a collection of bones. This is probably because Tyrone Hill is 426 years old! At least, that was the explanation I’ve heard for his lack of muscle tissue and his deeply indented eyes. Fun fact: I once dressed up as Tyrone Hill for Halloween and they called the cops on me.
2. Popeye Jones: I kept on wondering who he reminds me of. I finally came up with it. Sloth from ” The Goonies”. After figuring that out I tried to discover why he was nicknamed Popeye. I looked at the character Popeye the Sailor and I just didn’t see it. Popeye the Sailor has squinty eyes, tiny ears, and eats a lot of spinach. On the other hand, Popeye Jones has large, protruding ears, huge eyes, and eats a lot of babies. Clearly they are nothing alike. Well, Popeye Jones’ eyes kind of pop out of his head as if he had just seen Tyrone Hill so maybe that is where the nickname came from.
3. Sam Cassell: You might best know Sam Cassell for being the lead role in the movie E.T. Cassell is a pretty good point guard. His skills have sometimes seemed….shall I say…out of THIS WORLD! Do you get it? I am calling him an alien. Because he is really ugly and slimy looking. Commence laughter.
4. Chris Kaman: CAAAAPPPPTTTAAAAIINNNN KAAAAAMMMMMAAAAANNNNN! Chris Kaman does have a lot of similarities to a caveman. For one, neither has ever bathed or showered. He has cleaned up his act a little bit by shaving off that disgusting thing he had growing on his head but the man still is no Sam Cassell. Funny I should say that because today’s Los Angeles Clippers have to be the ugliest team in NBA history.
5. George Muresan: The tallest man to grace the NBA is also one of the most atrocious looking. Here is how I picture George Muresan. He is living in the old country just like he was in the movie “My Giant. In my vision he lives in a large tower with a winding staircase. I imagine Muresan snatching people up in the middle of the night and carrying them over his shoulder and into his tower, never to be heard from again. This would be a great movie! Someone start writing the screenplay!
Let me know what you think…
I gave you my list of the ugliest. Now please be a good sport and post yours in the comment section. I am sure I missed a few of the uglies in here.
