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“The Office”: 10 of the Funniest Quotes

Rainn Wilson

“The Office,” which airs on NBC on Thursdays at 9pm EST, is one of the funniest shows on television. Most people who have worked in an office setting can relate to at least one of the characters, if not all of them. Some offices have the prudish woman, like Angela (played by Angela Kinsey), the sex pot like Meredith (played by Kate Flannery), or the kiss-up or brown-noser to the boss like Dwight (played by Rainn Wilson). Not everyone has all these crazy personalities in one office, but this show does, which makes it very funny. Below find 10 of the funniest quotes from “The Office” since it’s premier.

1. “This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she’s cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago.”
Said by Michael Scott, the boss (played by Steve Carell ) in the Pilot.

2. “There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, ‘what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?’ He said, ‘if I’m dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.’
Said by Pam Beesley Halpert (played by Jenna Fischer) from Season 4 “Night Out”

3. “You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they’re acting retarded.”
Said by Michael Scott from Season 3 “Gay Witch Hunt”

4. “It’s a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she still rocks harder than anyone else.”
Said by Michael Scott from Season 7 “Sex-Ed”

See also  The Office: U.S. Versus British Version - Which One is Funnier?

5. “A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night, and he gets crabs. So the next day he goes back to complain and the woman says, ‘Hey, it was only $5, what did you expect… lobster?'”
Said by Michael Scott in Season 2 “Sexual Harassment”

6. “Technically, I am in Human Resources, and Dwight was asking about human anatomy… I’m just sad the public school system failed him so badly.”
Said by Toby Flenderson, the human resources “geek” (played by Paul Lieberstein) from Season 2 “Sexual Harassment”

7. “Hello. Sorry guys. I’m not sure if I’ve earned the right to make announcements yet, but whoever is giving me the twelve days of Christmas as my secret Santa? Please stop. I can’t take it anymore. My cat killed a turtle dove, the French hens have started pulling out my hair to make a nest. Please stop.”
Said by Erin Hannon , the present receptionist (played by Ellie Kempler) in Season 6 “Secret Santa”

8. “Jim’s been looking at me kind of a lot this week. I would be creeped out by it, but it’s nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.”
Said by Ryan Howard, the office “intern”, (played by B.J. Novak) from Season 2 “The Carpet”

9. Kevin Malone, (played by Brian Baumgartner) says to Creed when Pam is still the receptionist: “Jim has got it bad for Pam.”
Creed Bratton, (played by himself) replies, “Oooh! …Which one is Pam?”
from Season 2 “The Secret”

10. “My birthday was yesterday, and everyone forgot. I got really dressed up and excited and no one said a word. There wasn’t even a party. I think sometimes people are really mean, to the hot, popular girl.”
Said by Kelly Kapor, (played by Mindy Kaling) from Season 5 “Lecture Circuit Part 1”


http://www.tv.com/the-office/show/22343/cast.html
http://www.tbs.com/stories/story/0,,115941,00.html
http://www.theofficequotes.com/funniest-quotes-from-office