Dwight: Someone forged medical information. That’s a felony.
Jim: Ok, whoa, alright? Because that’s a pretty intense accusation. How do you know they’re fake?
Dwight: Uh, leprosy, flesh eating bacteria, hot dog fingers, government-created killer nano robot infection.
Just in case you’re still one of those millions who hasn’t discovered NBC’s best show since “Seinfeld,” here is a look at one of the relationships that makes “The Office” the best comedy on television – twentysomething goofball Jim Halpert and moon-faced oddball Dwight Schrute. Dwight is the office suck-up to inept boss Michael Scott, the office expert on everything from beets to bears to martial arts, and the whipping boy for the practical joke exploits of Jim.
When Jim walks in dressed exactly like Dwight and acting exactly like Dwight, it takes him forever to clue in that he’s being punked. When he snaps to it, he says that, “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” But when Jim pulls out a bobblehead mocking Dwight’s self-resembling bobble, he loses his fake cool, citing that “identity theft hurts thousands of families every year.” Then, he does what he always does – runs to tattle to Michael (but not before Jim does it mockingly).
That was far from the first time Jim has gotten the better of Dwight. In fact, one episode dealt heavily with a box full of complaints that Dwight had filed against Jim – and that the office HR guy, Toby, had simply stuffed away. They included pranks like his desk moving a few inches every time he went to the bathroom, his computer typing “diapers” every time he tried to type his name, his pens and pencils being replaced with crayons and, the best, “This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone.”
Jim: That actually took a while. I had to put more and more nickels into his handset until he got used to the weight. Then I just took ’em all out.
When Dwight brings a tape recorder and starts recording an office meeting, Jim has a bit of fun with Dwight’s knack for taking things way too seriously.
Jim: What is that?
Dwight: A tape recorder.
Jim: For what?
Dwight: For recording. Michael is on vacation, and he has asked me to record all meetings and give him the transcripts when he gets back.
Jim: OK. Karen, any news from that law firm?
Karen: Yeah, the deal closed yesterday around 6…
Jim: Oh my God, Dwight! What are you doing?
Dwight: (Sitting there, clueless) What?
Jim: You’re not allowed to take off your pants in the middle of the office.
Dwight: (Confused) I’m… not…
Jim: (Angrily) You know what? Just back off, OK? That’s making me uncomfortable! This is sexual harrassment, by the way… Oh my God! He’s got a knife!
Dwight: (Shouting at the recorder) I do not have a knife!
Jim: No, let the record show that Dwight is now completely nude and is holding a plastic knife to Stanley’s neck!
Dwight: (Shouting) Let the record show that Jim Halpert is a liar!
Jim: (Grabs tape recorder and whispers into it closely) Dwight Schrute is now wearing a baby’s bonnet.
Dwight: I am not!
But one of the most memorable and clever “gotchas” came when Dwight discovered a bat above the ceiling tiles and unwittingly set it free to flap around the office. Once it was contained in a meeting room, Jim called animal control.
Jim: Animal control will be here at six.
Dwight: Six? No, that is unacceptable. Jim, you are the number two in this office. (Jim rubs his neck and stares blankly) You need to step up and show some leadership.
Jim: (Snapping out of a trance) I’m sorry, what did you say? This is so weird…
Dwight: What? What’s so weird?
Jim: (Turning to show Dwight the back of his neck) The bat… I know I felt it bite me, but there’s no mark. I feel so… tingly, so… strangely powerful…
(Dwight stares)
Jim: Oh well (walks away)
Later, Jim approaches girlfriend Karen at her desk – and apparently everyone is in on the joke but Dwight.
Jim: OUCH!
Karen: What? What happened?
Jim: This bread on your desk is white hot!
Karen: Jim, this garlic bread is cold…
Jim: No. (Rubbing his hand) It… It burned me. I’m sorry… (hurries away)
After a few more gags – Jim getting asprin to cure the headache he’s gotten from “the glare off of Angela’s crucifix” – there’s a close-up of Dwight getting water from the cooler. When he stands, Jim is inches from the back of his neck, dressed in a black trenchcoat. Dwight shudders and squirms away.
Jim: You’re cool to just wait here for animal control?
Dwight: Animal control? I’ve been controlling animals all my life.
Jim: Cool. I’m gonna go home and lie down… draw the shades… just so much sun in here. Bye, Dwight.
Dwight: Bye, Jim, and good luck.
