Youth sports are supposed to be a fun-filled learning experience that not only teaches children the basic fundamentals of the sport, but lessons on teamwork and good sportsmanship. I’ve spoken to many coaches who volunteer their time in the afternoons and weekends, working with young kids to develop the necessary skills they will need as they become older. They always speak of how fun it is to coach kids throughout an entire season. The biggest problem they must deal with week after week, are some of the parents who take a little league game way too seriously.
When I was a kid, playing little league sports, there was always one kid on my team who would quit, just avoiding being embarrassed by their fantasy-minded mom or dad. It’s truly amazing to see adults fighting each other in the stands because of what’s going on in a game or yelling at the coach because their child isn’t getting the playing time he or she deserves. CNN reported that a poll of close to 3000 participants, conducted by the Center for Sports Parenting, 85 percent of the polls participants witnessed parents or coaches becoming verbally abusive during games and forty percent of the poll participants witnessed a parent become physically abusive. Where is the anger and rage coming from? People actually get way out of control over what’s supposed to be fun.
No, your child is not an instant Olympian or a future Hall of Fame quarterback. Your child may not even be interested in becoming a basketball player when they get older so you shouldn’t force them into pursuing a goal that you failed to accomplish. You may feel that you are being good parents by supporting your child by any means. What you are actually doing is ruining the whole experience for the child, overshadowing their fun with unnecessary pressure. Michael Muldoon, an author who wrote an article on athletes and parents, says that “Good parents shut their mouths, stay glued to their seats and let the players play, the coaches’ coach, and the officials officiate. You won’t always be successful, but give it your best shot to spare your child a heap of embarrassment”.
As the adult, it is your responsibility to be a good role model. As the parent, your child only wants your support, not your scrutinizing or embarrassing antics in the stands. If you have a young child interested in participating in an upcoming sport, you should definitely read below.
Don’t Force It
Ok, so you love football with a passion. You were the hometown hero in high school and a pretty decent player in college. You feel that your career ended prematurely and now, there’s an opportunity to relive your life dreams through your 7 year old, right? Wrong. For starters, Junior may have dreams of playing the piano or acting in a Broadway play. He plays football because he may not want to upset you or hurt your feelings. Well genius, let me be the one that hurts your feelings. Your career was finished years ago, move on. You should never force a child to pursue in anything that they don’t want to do, except going to school and getting good grades. Let your child decide what they want to do and support them.
All They Want is Your Support
I hate to see when a child gets chewed out after a game for not performing the way their parents want them to. It doesn’t matter whether your child is six years old or eighteen years old, all they want from you is support. Parents should be telling their kids how proud they are regardless of the outcome, not how embarrassed they were. Believe me, when you come down on your child for a mistake on the field, you are not helping their development. Instead, you are adding more doubt in their minds. Be the parent that encourages your child regardless of what happens during a game.
There is no secret that we want our kids and the teams they play on to win. However, what’s wrong with clapping for the other team once the game ends? I once saw a group of parents laughing at the opposing youth basketball team as they left the gym, true story. It’s time we show respect for all children involved in a game, win or lose. An example of true sportsmanship will rub off on your kids.
You Are Not the Coach
According to CNN, a man pulled a gun on the head coach of his son’s football team because he felt that his kid wasn’t getting enough playing time. The real disturbing part of this story is that the game was between 6 and 7 year old kids. This story is the worst case scenario, but many coaches will tell you that they get approached by parents all the time regarding why their kid didn’t get enough play time. Many of these confrontations are not pleasant and can sometimes result in the parent pulling the kid from the team. Everyone wants their child to play, and a coach of a little league team should allow every player to play. However, there are better ways of handling the situation. If you must confront a coach regarding any problems you may have, be respectful and listen to what he or she has to say. No player is above the team and the other kid who sits on the bench with your son may deserve just as much of a chance to play.
Many parents fail to realize that youth sports is about having fun and learning for children. Too often, people go overboard by their over-aggressive actions at youth sporting events, causing the child to be embarrassed and ashamed to play. The mission is to allow kids to have fun while playing their favorite sport, not pressured into becoming the next world champion.
