According to the article “Divorce Is Hard for Adult Children Too” by Holly Hubbard Preston, My Turn, parent’s separation is a difficult process not only for small kids but for adult children as well. Although adult children are mature enough to realize that their parents have a conflict they can’t solve, therefore, they are not happy together; it’s still painful and hard to accept the fact that two most important people in a child’s life can’t stand each other any longer.
Comparing to a small child, adult children don’t blame themselves for the parent’s break up. Nevertheless, it’s not easier for them to handle the loss of a “happy family” dream. At this point, as much as younger children, adults struggle with a lack of compassion and support from their siblings. To be more specific because relatives, in that kind of situation, can’t be objective advisers for a child their point of view and way of help might strongly contradict with adult child opinion. Therefore, we, adult children, have this additional stage in dealing with parents divorce related to our matureness and life experience that give us an opportunity that younger children don’t carry yet. We are able to analyze facts and make reliable statements and conclusions, basing on what we’ve already learn in our lifetime. This, on the other hand, brings adult children going through parent’s divorce to stress and emotional crisis that affects their own families’ routine.
In my own opinion, divorce is a really hard time for adult children. No matter how independent they are, they still need to feel their parent’s shoulder and family unity that gives them an example and help in arranging their own life. Parents are still those significant role models that we need even being adults. Therefore, no matter how old is the child, it’s very important to feel this warmth and assurance inside of the family.
Going further, adult children in parent’s divorce situation, experiencing lack of security and comfort because their family is the only backup and support in their life. Moreover, isn’t it true that our parents are the one who set the standards of our perceptions of how the” family should be. For instance, most of us, start living on the own, still looking back on our parent’s life to find answers for questions we have or prevent mistakes that my dramatically change our life. I myself, when feel confused or discouraged, have a habit address to my parent’s background to find a situation that might help me to find a solution. Knowing everything that my parent’s went through the 32-year marriage, supports my choices and decisions. Therefore, I absolutely agree how important it is for adult child to know that parents will always be together and you will always have a chance to embrace them both.
As it was pointed above, adult children’s lack of stability when their parents get divorced influences their own families and relationships. Feeling lost and lonely, adult children often become unfairly demanding to the members of their own families which sometimes might lead to a conflict with their children or spouse. Then it’s very hard for adult children to hide their emotions during the parent’s divorce, specially when at the same time, they have to perform duties and responsibilities for their own families. Even minor mistakes in this period of time might be considerate as failures and cause major frustration about lowering stability of their own family. Therefore, they are in need for a shoulder of support from their siblings, spouse, in need of time to adjust to the sad fact of their parent’s separation, put themselves together and go on with their life.
In conclusion, I would like to say that, of course, divorce is a hard obstacle to deal with! However, we should never forget, no matter what is going on between our parents, we are still their children! It’s us who’s going to keep them together even when they going to be apart! Having each other by side and in thoughts, we are going to remain as a family in good or bad, in happiness or sadness… Always in each other prays!
