Before you say “DUH!” here are my reasons written in black and white (actually, transcribed from a list I scrawled on scrap paper while waiting for my plane yesterday), on why San Francisco is better than Detroit. This list is in no particular order, although #1 and #2 are near and dear to my heart. While my son now lives in the Fog City, he doesn’t even make the Top Ten.
1. Lack of squirrels – There appears to be more squirrels in the square block where I live in Royal Oak than in the entire city of San Francisco. I spent a great deal of time in Golden Gate Park, and didn’t see any squirrels at all! Before you say, it’s a city, there’s no wild life there, I did see other animals such as well behaved dogs on leashes, lots of birds and a covey of quail. Part of the reason for the squirrel overpopulation in my neighborhood is due to the idiot who is feeding these glorified rodents his left-over Krispy Kremes. In San Francisco, nature lovers feed their wild animals stale focaccia or organic greens. If that’s what it takes to keep the squirrels away, I’m all for it.
2. People saying “Good morning!” – Before starting my San Franciscan day, I would take an hour and a half to two hour walk on the beach. I am totally blown over that almost everyone in passing greeted me with “Good morning!” and they actually appeared to mean it! They were smiling! Even the wheelchair-bound homeless man sadly sitting with his shopping cart full of worldly possessions wished me a good morning. This is simply not done in the Detroit area, although I have tried to impart a modest amount of friendliness on those occasions where I walk to work. First of all, if you’re walking in the Detroit area, people assume you are too poor to buy a car and don’t have money for bus fare. Secondly, smiling is unheard of (what’s here to smile about anyway?) and people would assume you are either looking to get picked up because you’re a hooker or too poor for a car. Thirdly, saying “good morning?” Are you kidding? Do you have a flak jacket? I don’t. It might just be me, but most Kevlar-based clothing is not all that stylish.
3. The weather – A temperate climate is a good thing. The average temperature in San Francisco is 57.1 degrees. While Detroit’s average temperature is 48.6 (very close), here there’s a wide range of varying temperatures. On many days, it can be either below zero or above 100. The day before yesterday, it was 65 and sunny in San Francisco. Yesterday it was 65 and foggy in San Francisco. Yesterday it struggled to get to double digit temperatures in Detroit. Likewise, in the summer, it’s usually 65 degrees in San Francisco, and high 90s with breath choking humidity in Detroit. Either extreme is barely tolerable. Because of the climate, I have a feeling people in San Francisco do not need sunscreen or body lotion of any kind.
4. The economy – Over 30,000 jobs have left the state of Michigan in the last year. In addition, the future doesn’t look all that rosy here. Besides the fact that plants are shutting down left and right, the tax climate is not all that conducive to businesses big or small. Compare that to San Francisco and the Bay area. I don’t know what they are doing, but they are doing it right. Bustling doesn’t even begin to describe the commerce. The only way you could not make it in San Francisco is by trying very hard!
5. Lack of fast food – You have to look really hard to find fast food in San Francisco. Yes, there are McDonald’s and Burger Kings, but they are tucked away in little storefronts that look like all the other little storefronts. The drive through window is also an anomaly there. If you’re dumb enough to choose a calorie-laden, artery clogging sloppy hamburger on a high-fructose corn syrupy bun or a bucket of the Colonel’s greasiest highly trans-fatted chicken, you are going to have to get your keister out of your car (providing you can find a parking spot) and walk inside to order. Here in Detroit, people thrive on fast food, and by the looks of their rear ends, make use of the drive up windows on a regular basis.
6. Public transportation – Reliable public transportation in Detroit consists of this: Your Own Car. Sure, there’s the SMART bus, but only dummies take it, because if it runs at all, it’s never on schedule. Employers like their people to get to work on time, and if you don’t have a car, you can’t assure any employer you’ll make it in by 9 a.m. I love San Francisco’s MUNI, even if there are occasional loonies on it. It’s clean, quiet, reliable, and with the exception of rush hour, usually comfortable. Besides being energy conscious, I would rather not drive when good public transportation is nearby and reasonably priced.
7. Exercise/fitness options – A good walking or bicycling park, in the Detroit area, such as the Metroparks, requires you to drive a long way to get to them. And in the city of Detroit, Belle Isle is not exactly safe. Add to that the inclement weather and the proliferation of fast food establishments, and the result is a geographic area where fitness is not a priority. Michigan didn’t get to be the “fattest” state in the union by exercising! In San Francisco, it’s not just the surfers, runners and body builders who are in shape. Heck, even the elderly are fit. If you have to walk up hills at a 48 degree angle just to get to your home, and then climb a steep stairway to your front door, you’d better be robust and extremely healthy, or you’ll be taking up space in the morgue.
8. Things to do – There’s the Lions and the Tigers for sports teams here in Detroit, and that’s about all there is. The Pistons made Auburn Hills (suburbia) their home years ago. There are casinos, but these are not the glitzy neon shrines of Vegas. These are the seedy, smoky, crowded houses of Detroit vice. Shopping? You have to take a trip to Troy for the best. The symphony and opera houses are grand, but once the show is over, it’s a mad rush to the freeway and the safety of the ‘burbs. On the other hand, you could not possibly run out of things to do in San Francisco. From the many museums, parks, cultural events, the thousands of restaurants, there is no reason for boredom. After you’ve finished with San Francisco, you can work your way across the Bay to Marin. That is, if you live that long.
9. The “‘Hood” – This weekend, my son took me to some of the “ghetto” areas of San Francisco, such as the Tenderloin and parts of the Mission district. While these neighborhoods are worn down and sad, and not as nice as the rest of the city, they are not as bad as some of the areas south of 8 Mile in the “Dee.” Detroit has miles and miles of burned out and boarded up houses. Homies stand on the street corners, because they don’t go to school (high drop out rate) and they’ve no jobs to go to anyway. San Francisco has miles and miles of houses right next to each other, but for the most part, they’re clean and tidy. Both cities have a history steeped in tradition, and the architecture reflects it. Unfortunately, Detroit also has a history too – more of neglect and disrepair, and its tired appearance show it. San Francisco may have its problems, but it’s cheery, from its palm trees and fragrant eucalyptus, to its bougainvillea, poppies and calla lilies. There’s also something mildly refreshing about houses painted in day glow bright colors, aquamarine, screaming yellow and fuchsia. I want to live where a purple house is not out of the ordinary.
10. Diversity of cultures – If you’re looking for the bland, the generic, the Midwestern, the plain old cookie cutter, Detroit is the place to be. Here we have black, and we have white. There’s no middle ground, and as much as some areas like Fabulous Ferndale try to be trendy, the staid middle class reigns supreme. However, if you’re looking for the avant garde, the interesting, the multinational, San Francisco is a far better choice. No matter what kind of person you are: gay, straight; Chinese, Japanese, Italian, German; classical, blues or rock; you will find it there.
