Steve Martin is a comedian, author, actor and film director. From his first appearance on Saturday Night Live in 1975, he has become a legend. He’s appeared on the show 14 times, more than any other guest host. He’s won a Lifetime Achievement Award at the American Comedy Awards; a 1969 Emmy for being part of the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour writing staff; two People’s Choice Awards; and two Writers Guild of America Awards. High among his proudest achievements is his numerous satirical essays for The New Yorker Magazine.
The following is a selection of Martin’s most memorable quotes:
“All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.”
“Writing is a lot like sex. It’s pretty obvious when you’re ready to do it. Sometimes you just feel like … ‘Now I’m ready to write, but, … um … I lost my train of thought. … Never mind.'”
I handed in a script last year and the studio didn’t change one word. The word they didn’t change was on page 87.”
“Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.”
“The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.”
(asks audience) How many people have cats? … Now let me ask you this. … Do you trust ’em?”
“A day without sunshine is, like, you know, … night.”
“I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was … a large Arctic region covered with ice.
“You say ‘Steve, how can I be a millionaire and never pay taxes?’ … Two simple words. … ‘I forgot.'”
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.”
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
“I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal high enough so you can look up her dress.”
“Love is a promise delivered already broken.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? … Me neither.”
“I don’t have sex, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”
Comedy might be big business, but it isn’t pretty.
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.” (Of course, Martin is an accomplished banjo player.)
SOURCES:
“Martin cheers muted show”, Ben Sutherland, BBC News, URL: (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/2879819.stm)
“After school special”, Dylan Cunningham, WGA, URL: (http://www.wga.org/subpage.aspx?id=2230)
http://www.compleatsteve.com/quotes/index.htm
http://imdb.com/name/nm0000188/bio
http://www.stevemartin.com/stop_the_presses/newsweek_78.php
