It has been tradition in the U.S. and many other countries throughout the world for women to assume their new husband’s name after marriage. Oddly enough, however, this isn’t a legal requirement in most states. It is merely a tradition that has been carried on throughout the years.
The tradition continues as children born of the union, take on the father’s last name, allowing the mother’s surname to fade away into oblivion. Sometimes, however, couples use the mother’s surname as a given name for one of their children, as means of recognizing the woman’s family. Others will use it as a middle name, which might be adopted by one or more of their children.
This practice has been criticized more than once over the years, because some believe that the tradition construes that the woman is somehow “less than” her partner in marriage. Others call the taking of a husband’s surname a “brand” that signifies the man’s right to his “possession” – – his wife.
Over the last few decades, however, more women have chosen to retain their maiden names after marriage. Some opt not to take the husband’s name in any form, while others take it in conjunction with their own in a hyphenated format. A few split name usage; keeping their own surname for professional aspects of their life, but using the husband’s last name for the social part. This is a trend used quite often in professions like entertainment.
In these instances, children of the union generally take the name of the father, although a few also take the hyphenated name, which represents some form of continuation of a both of their parents’ family lines.
A new trend is surfacing in America and throughout the world where men are actually taking on their wife’s last name instead of retaining their own. This sounds good for women on the surface. It is, however, proving to be more difficult than first anticipated for the men. Many states have no provision for this change of status and will not recognize, or even go so far as to disallow, such a change. Adding fuel to the fire is the fact that the men in question are often harassed by family and friends for their willingness to give up their name.
It is odd that a tradition so long respected and accepted by the system, allowing women to give up their identity, now insists on fighting the actions of men who are willing to do the same thing. With that in mind, I thought it might be interesting to research how similar situations are handled in other countries. Here are the results:
Chinese women, as a rule, no longer change their surnames after marriage. At one time in their history, women adopted the husband’s surname, which was added to their surname along with the “shi” suffix. However, this practice no longer takes place.
In some countries like Iceland, people do not even have family names. In these instances, it is the person’s second name that indicates who their father is. For example, Lee’s son Brad would be known as Brad Leeson. His son Todd would be called Todd Bradson. In some instances, the mother’s maiden name may be used instead of the father’s. However, this is rare and generally indicates a rift between father and son.
Note: Any novel or unusual first name must be formally approved by the Icelandic Naming Committee before it can be used.
Japanese law requires that married couples share a surname, which is in most instances that of the husband. However, a husband is legally permitted to take his wife’s surname if he so chooses. This is generally only the case in situations where the wife’s maiden name may end should she change her name to that of her husband. It is of particular significance when the wife’s lineage is of some import. In such instances, not only would the husband take on the wife’s surname, but the children would as well.
Traditionally, Japanese language avoids second and third person pronouns, referring instead to a person by their surname plus a title such as “san” or “sama” to indicate their rank, profession, or gender; not their marital status. Using myself as an example, I might be referred to as Kuchinskysan or Kuhinskysama.
Some Japanese women who are celebrities, who have established careers, or who come from a recognized family, may request that they be referred to by their maiden name even after they marry. However, this is merely an informal practice and is not recognized by law.
Korean women follow the same practice, in that women do not change their names upon marriage. A woman cannot be identified as a wife simply by he name. Nor can she be recognized by any kind of traditional prefix such as “Mrs.” If it is necessary, for some reason, to identify a woman’s husband it would be done this way, using myself as an example: C.A. Mills, wife of R.E. Kuchinsky.
In most Middle Eastern nations such as Iran, Jordan, etc., Muslim women are allowed to retain their own names after marriage. This is a sign of respect for their fathers. If they want to take their husband’s surname, in most instances it will require a court order for them to be allowed to do so.
The Philippines traditionally followed naming practices of other Spanish-speaking cultures for their children until they became a U.S. colony. Today, the middle name is generally the mother’s maiden name followed by the father’s surname, which in my case would be C.A. Quiggle Mills. This is directly opposite to the tradition now followed in most Spanish-speaking countries but similar to the way names are handled in Brazil.
When a woman from the Philippines marries, she is expected to adopt the surname the husband. Using myself as an example again, when I – – C.A. Mills – – married R.E. Kuchinsky, my new full name would be C.A. Mills Kuchinsky. Although I would traditionally be referred to as C.A. Kuchinsky, my maiden name of Mills would be passed on as the middle name of my children.
In Spain and most other Spanish-speaking countries have adhered to a two-surname practice, with regard to children, for quite some time. In these instances, both the paternal and maternal surnames are kept. For example, in my instance, under Spanish tradition, upon my birth my name would have been C.A. Mills Quiggle; the Mills being my father’s surname and the Quiggle being my mothers. In this instance, however, it is the father’s surname that is generally used and passed on to subsequent generations.
In some Spanish-speaking countries, predominantly in Latin America, a woman marrying a man might add her husband’s surname to her father’s surname using the “de” preposition, which means “of”. For example, in my instance, if I were Spanish, my name would be C.A. Mills de Kuchinsky; dropping my maternal name of Quiggle and my husband’s maternal name of Covey altogether.
This form is merely traditional and usually doesn’t require any official name change since legally, the woman’s name is still her birth name. Some Hispanic cultures have dropped the maternal surname tradition in order to better fit into the society in which they often live or work.
It is interesting that different cultures have different practices with regarding to handling surnames. They can be quite confusing for those individuals only use to one simple format. However, interestingly enough, some of these practices are actually much more far advanced than ours here in America where we still feel a need to “mark” women as married property.
I never considered keeping my maiden name since I really wanted to do away with anything relating to my father. However, in a different situation, I might have liked to have the option. Since it is just as likely for a woman’s lineage to disappear as that of a man’s, perhaps it is time to consider alternative methods that would allow both to remain in tact.
With my granddaughter rests the end of the line for this branch of the Kuchinsky family. I find that very sad considering the struggles, misfortune, and hardships that my husband’s great great grandfather had to endure as an immigrant to America. Should my granddaughter choose to keep her name and thereby that of the Kuchinsky line alive, I would like to think she would be allowed to do so. I guess we will just have to wait and see.
