I am neither a chocolate fan nor a milk fan, but for some reason I adore chocolate milk. As a little boy, when I came home from school, I would HAVE to have a glass of chocolate milk and a box of some mass produced carbohydrate such as croutons, melba snacks, bagel chips, etc.. How could I expect to have the energy to do my homework and play my Sega Genesis without sugary chocolaty goodness? I think my obsession came about because Hulk Hogan used to say we had to focus on the “training, the prayers, and the vitamins.” I figured one out of three wouldn’t be so bad.
There are many options and preparations of chocolate milk. You’ve got your Qwiks, your Boscos, your Ovaltines (“Why don’t they call it Roundtine?”). Sometimes the milk people make their own chocolate milk and put it right in the gallon jug for you. But these are sub-par imitators.
There is only one chocolate milk drink that can satisfy my craving. That would be Hershey’s Chocolate Milk Mix. I’m not talking about the syrup that you can also pour onto your ice cream. I’m talking the powder stuff that comes in this box. I guzzle this stuff up like my life depends on it. I was thankful when they reduced the price from about 5 bucks to $2.55, but perhaps I should have seen the writing on the supply-and-demand wall of what was to come.
About a month ago, I went to my local Jewel-Osco to do our weekly grocery shopping. On my list was “Choc Milk Mix” in really bad handwriting. I moseyed on down Aisle 3 featuring pancake syrups, cereal and coffees. I grabbed some Life cereal for the fiance. It was buy-one-get-one-free and I used a coupon for 75 cents off. SCORE! I continued down the aisle to the chocolate milk mixes and syrups and I already had my arm up to grab my Hershey’s Chocolate Milk Mix when I realized it wasn’t even there!
There was no vacant spot on the shelf to where it would have been. There was no new packaging (they changed it about 8 years ago). It was no where to be found. I wondered if they just didn’t have it this week because our Jewel-Osco sometimes doesn’t have all the products stocked. So I left mix-less and prepared to keep the item on my list for the next week.
One week passed, then another, and another. And I soon realized that the Hershey Corporation must have said to itself, “If only one skinny little Jewish dude in Chicago is the only one buying this crap, then we just won’t make it anymore!”
So here I am defeated, deflated, downcast, despondent, and other synonyms starting with “D”. I am forced to move on with my life without Hershey’s Chocolate Milk Mix. A piece of my childhood will not go on with me until Hershey decides to sack up and give us chocolate milk lovers what we really need. I am in the process of auditioning other chocolate milk mixes, but I know it will never be the same.
