We picked Minh up from the hospital. She was only a few days old. She was Vietnamese but you wouldn’t of known it. Light brown hair, light brown eyes… she smiled at us from day one. Minh was a little charmer. Full of fire, full of determination. Every week we showed up at the CPS office for parent visits. Mostly they showed up, sometimes they did not. Every day, even though I knew Minh was a foster child, my heart was growing very maternal, very protective. How could it not? I woke up with her at night, rocked her, sang to her, loved her, watched her grow. We laughed at her antics, clapped when she crawled, jumped up and down when she took her first steps…. tears were in my eyes when she sang and danced and clapped. So much potential, so much hope for her future, so much trust in the system to work for her!
Minh’s mom was pregnant again when Minh was only 2 months old and yet she continued to fail drug testings so she relinquished her rights to Minh but the dad kept visiting with full intentions of getting her. In due time CPS found out about some serious charges against him and he also failed a hair drug test 2x. CPS was not going to allow Minh to go to him because they felt he was dangerous. I had also seen Minh’s mom with black eyes and she often commented to me that the dad was very bad. I was relieved that Minh would stay with us and we would adopt her. We loved her and she was safe and secure with us. We were also in the process of adopting Ruby. Ruby and Minh were raised together as much as twins could be without being twins. Many people stopped us to ask if they were twins even though one was white and one was black. I did like to dress them alike and they were the same in height. They were very close and often fell asleep side by side, hand in hand.
When Minh’s new sister was born, CPS monitored the mom since there was still an open case going with Minh. There was a hearing for the newborn sister, Ming, and during this hearing the dad’s court appointed lawyer pulled a fast one. He had filed a motion to immediately remove Minh from care and because the dad had done all his services and because CPS was not prepared with the recent information…the judge allowed it.
I’ll never forget that day. It was 4:00 PM and I was in Kroger. The caseworker called and told me Minh had to be given to the dad. Minh… my chatterbox butterfly. My little baby who hated to sleep anywhere but her own crib. My little darling who loved kisses and hugs and having her hair done. Minh had just turned 13 months old. We had her since birth and in a matter of hours she would be taken and I would never see her again. I fell apart in Kroger that day. I literally almost fainted. I was sobbing. Thank God a friend from church was there to help me get to my car and soon after arriving home, our Pastor was at our door.
That evening, I had to pack up all Minh’s belongings. She was walking around with a play phone saying “Yesth, yesth, yesth” and nodding her head as if in true conversation. She would then come over to me, as I was packing her clothes and give me a sweet kiss on my cheek and continue on with her conversation, oblivious to what was about to happen. Unaware that the caseworker was on her way to take her from the only home she ever knew and that she would be given to man who had a history of violence.
They came and took Minh away that night. Its been 3 months. I haven’t stopped hoping to see her again but I bet she has forgotten me. I have her pictures all over the house. Maybe it would of been different if this wasn’t such a scary situation she was in. Maybe if he was nice. Maybe I could of coped better.
I always seem to see and read negatives about foster parents. Many foster parents are loving and kind and love their foster children with all their hearts and grieve when they leave and even more so when the environment they are going to is questionable. I grieved tremendously. I miss her tremendously. My heart aches and my arms long to hold her. I sleep with the phone by my bed incase there is a call about her. Maybe today she will come home.
*Minh and Ming’s names changed to protect their identity*
