We’ve all heard it: Spare the rod and spoil the child. Well that was then and this is now. Some Christians also believe that Jesus Christ did not follow it by being loving with the kids and willing to whip the adults. Many believe spanking is appropriate; and many also believe spanking is legitimized abuse, because you are basically striking another living being with either your hand or another object resulting in physical pain. Many people have different feelings on such a controversial matter. Many people can handle physical forms of punishment, but many are emotional beings and cannot handle physical forms of punishment. Then people describe them later with different descriptions and sometimes when they get big enough, they hurt the very ones who hurt them. When all that needed to happen was the correcting parties stepping down from their desires to control and see how they could correct the situation without harming the people that needed correcting.
We have heard of kids as they got older killing their parents or killing their kids, or taking it out on random strangers. So many parents are stuck in their ways of spanking being it. When in fact, spanking may not be ideally suited for your child as a punishment. It may have worked for you, but your child is an individual with their own tolerance levels and feelings. It is up to you to learn what they are and use that to help both of you in times of correction.
One mother once said of her children that she never raises her voice and never strikes her kids in times of correction. She wants them to respect her. She speaks very gently. Her husband confirmed it. He treats their kids the same way. It profits no one if your children are hurt from your teaching just because you want to be in control and in the end, you lost their respect and the chance to properly teach them what they need to know to get by in life when you are not there to help them out. Very wise words.
Some reasons to find alternative methods to correct and not punish, according to cyc-net.org are: Your kids learn to lie, cheat, sneak or blame others to avoid getting caught.
Your kids won’t learn to accept responsibility for the right reasons. “I have to do it this way because it’s the right thing to do and my parents will be so proud of me” turns into “I have to do it this way or I’ll get punished.
Your kids will learn to stop trusting you. They will see you as someone who punishes them if they don’t do things the right way and if they meet a circumstance they don’t know how to get through, won’t go to you because they’ll be afraid of the punishment possibility.
Your kids will get angry and resentful. Anger is not a lesson you want your kids to learn from life lesson corrections. Many parents are now dead because their angry kids killed them later in life.
Your kids will mimic you. If you physically punish them or scream at them, and they can’t do anything to you at that time, they will go out and treat others how you treated them, maybe even kill them.
Your kids will learn to rebel against you. Punishment, not correction, shows control. If your kids learn the control and not the lesson, they will rebel against you.
Your kids will get low self-esteem. If they see themselves as punishable because of you punishing them, they can grow up in life thinking lowly of themselves and think if bad things happen to them that they deserve it. They stop seeing goodness in themselves.
Your kids will develop emotional problems in life as a result of the way you deal with them in a situation. Oftentimes some emotional diagnosis such as ADHD, Bipolar, Anxiety, etc. develop.
Your kids will eventually stop trying to do right. If they see punishment, you see a chance to teach them not to do certain things, but all they may see is “I can’t do the right thing so why even bother trying? They’re gonna get me anyways.”
In all matters of correction, the learning is what is important, not who is in control. My friend from high school had a dad who was a Christian pastor. He had one rule for her and her sister: “Do as I do and not as I say. If you see me doing something I said not to do, then you have every right to do it.” That to me is a good way to teach without scaring those who need to learn.
