A child who is still wetting the bed after the age of five or six years is usually a cause for concern in most families. Parents wonder what they did, or did not do, that might be contributing to the bed wetting. In is helpful to know that, in almost cases, children who continue to wet the bed past the age of six usually do so for physiological reasons, not psychological reasons.
While this information doesn’t help change and wash the sheets or comfort the embarrassed child, it does help to ease the mind of the bed wetting child and the parents. For this reason, it is always a good idea to have an older child who still wets the bed seen by a physician. In most cases, time and patience will be offered as the cure.
However, in rare cases, there are some psychological reasons and problems behind bed wetting for some children. These psychological causes are stress, trauma and anxiety caused by life transitions. Many times, children who are wetting the bed because of a psychological reason have been dry sleepers prior to the stress or traumatic event. The return to bed wetting may be a one or two time event, or may only last for a short time. That is often little comfort to the once dry at night child. Every child is different, so what may be seen as stressful or traumatic to one child may not affect another child. So, what might be some stressful, or traumatic events, or life changes, that might cause a return to bed wetting?
It is not uncommon for a younger child to begin wetting the bed again when a new baby joins the family. The child is not acting out or wetting the bed on purpose, but the change in family dynamics have set him or her off kilter, and bed wetting is the result. Other family-related issues that might cause bed wetting include parents fighting, marital separation, divorce, a remarriage or a death or illness in the family. In all cases, know that the child has no control over the subsequent bed wetting, so kind and understanding treatment in response to the child’s bed wetting is what is required.
Traumatic events may also be the culprit behind bed wetting. Because every child is different, what may be exciting to one child may be seen as traumatic to another. In the worst cases, child sexual abuse, a natural disaster or a bad car accident may be the type of trauma that might cause bed wetting. But don’t assume your child has serious issues just because he or she is wetting the bed. Most likely, something less tragic is behind it.
Some lesser, more day to day, types of traumatic events might cause bed wetting as well. It could be a bad fall off of a bike or financial strain in the family. Perhaps the child is being bullied at school, or the child watched a scary movie. Whatever the trauma, try to find out what may be upsetting your child, and help him or her to express the feelings. Do so in a loving and supportive manner, because the shame behind wetting the bed is already compounding the stress from the traumatic event.
Certain life changes may also cause a child to wet the bed. Starting school, a move to a new town or school or going away to camp is often enough to cause bed wetting. Losing a beloved caregiver or learning a new, challenging task can cause a child to feel sad or frustrated, and that emotional pain may present itself as bed wetting.
If your child is wetting the bed, and you fear that the cause may be psychological, be gentle to your child and never punish him or her for wetting the bed. Do whatever you can to relieve the child’s embarrassment. He or she has no control. Often, during times of high stress, we are so wrapped up in making it from day to day that a child suddenly wetting the bed is seen as yet another insult. Remember that your child feeds off of your emotional state, so make it your goal to treat the child, and yourself, gently. If the bed wetting persists despite attempts to help your child, do not hesitate is seek the help of a professional. Helping your child heal is if the utmost importance, and as tedious as washing sheets daily is, the bed wetting is a secondary concern.
Sources:
“What are the Psychological Causes of Bedwetting?” Livestrong.com
