All countries have laws that must be abided by, but some of these truly test the meaning of “respect the law”. All laws don’t make sense. Some are still on the books even though they have been outdated long ago. Looking at them out of context, place and time they can seem pretty ridiculous and even outrageously funny. The history behind many of them may be clear or be lost to the pages of time, but they are still interesting to read. Of course it seems that all countries have one common bond; our law makers, the politicians and lawyers, can be a tiny bit short on gray matter at times.
Germany
“It is illegal for ones car to run out of gas on the autobahn.“ (It is downright dangerous too. If you have never experienced the autobahn, you are missing a thrill ride. Drivers on the autobahn seem to take great joy in scaring everyone around them by trying to out maneuver and go faster than any other car , thereby creating a mad rush the likes of which you might see in a cartoon or on “Crazy Taxi”, when you are playing your Playstation game. Pedestrians don’t stand a chance on the autobahn, so it really isn’t a bad law, but I wouldn’t want to be the autobahn patrol man either who has to stop to hand out the tickets.)
“A pillow can be considered a passive weapon“ (I’ve been in a few pillow fights with people who could knock you over in their exuberance, but somehow I don’t think I would be very intimidated by a person walking down the street carrying a pillow. My daughter carries her pillow and stuffed bunny around sometimes. I can just imagine the one call from the police station for that. I arrive and find her in a pillow line up, her fingerprints now on file for assault with a passive weapon and a new law coined by the phrase, “the pillow defense” in all the law books.)
Philippines
“Cars whose license plates end with a 1 or 2are not allowed on the roads on Monday. 3 or 4 on Tuesday, 5 or 6 on Wednesday, 7 or 8 on Thursday, and 9 or 0on Friday from 7 a.m.” (Whomever came up with this doozy, either had serious control issues, is anal retentive or wanted revenge on the local traffic cops. I pity the poor judge that has to deal with lawyers over the technicalities of this law. Can you just see the lines at their local department of motor vehicles, with people delegated to specific lines depending on the number on their license plates. I wonder which one has the longest lines.)
Switzerland
“It is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 p.m..“ ( I guess maybe chamber pots are still in vogue in Switzerland; either that or Depends and Pampers are doing a roaring business there.)
South Korea
“Traffic police are required to report all bribes they receive from motorists” (Uh huh, and I suppose they follow that rule to the letter…I guess they gave up on telling them they couldn’t take bribes, so the local tax people wanted to get their share of the income. )
Singapore
“Failuretoflushapublictoiletafterusemayresultinveryheftyfines.” ( This adds a new meaning to the term beat cop. What do they call this particular line of duty…the flush patrol or maybe doo duty? Can you just see some child having their parent in for career day for that job? How do they decide how hefty the fine will be? Plungers required must mean major jail time.)
“If you are convicted of littering three times, you will have to clean the streets on Sundays with a bib on saying, “I AM A LITTERER.” (I know a few smokers I would like to see have to wear those when they throw their cigarette butts all over the place. Of course they would have to have a second person following after them to clean up the butts they dropped while working on the Sunday cleanup crews, so I guess it would be a moot point.)
United Kingdom
“With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.” ( Wow, they must have had one heck of a carrot lobbyist pulling for that one. Isn’t Peter Rabbit from the United Kingdom?)
“Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks.” (This was enacted by King Edward the VI. It must be good to be the king…)
Norway
“You may not spay your female dog or cat.” (You do notice they don’t mention neutering a male cat or dog. It is nice to know there is a progressive country out there that acknowledges that males need to be involved in birth control too.)
Australia
“Only licensed electricians may change a light bulb.” ( This must be one of those programs like the one in Oregon that ensures people of more employment, by not allowing motorists to fill their own cars at the gas station. Do you know how close I was to being arrested when driving through there on the way to Canada? I thought the attendant was going to have a stroke or something when I unknowingly got out of my car. Electricians in Australia must be working overtime all the time and I wonder what they charge for this?)
China
“To go to college you must be intelligent.”(Well how nice, some place that actually takes students based on intelligence. No wait , I think they have that system in other countries too. Of course they don’t mention the fact that you have to be independently wealthy to even apply to college anywhere anymore.)
“Drivers of power driven vehicles who stop at pedestrian crossings are liable to a fine of five yuan or a warning” ( That seriously had to be an omission of two rather important words…DO NOT, or else they are trying another method of lowering their population besides limiting births to one child per faamily.)
Denmark
“No one may start a car while someone is under the vehicle.” ( Oh and here I was thinking it might be fun to tempt fate and play Russian roulette by taking a nap in the shade of a car.)
Israel
If you have been maintaining an illegal radio station for five or more years, the station becomes legal.” (I guess they got tired of chasing around those pirate stations and decided to put up the white truce flag. If they can outrun the strict controls and enforcers there for five years, they earn squatting rights to broadcast.)
“Raising a pig on Israeli soil will result in the murder of the said pig.” ( I guess Wilbur wouldn’t stand a chance there, even with Charlotte’s help.)
Canada (Alberta)
“Wooden logs may not be painted.” (I think they must they prefer the au natural look there.)
“Margarine producers can’t make their margarine yellow.” ( It must have to be brown, like the logs.)
Guelph, Ontario
“The city is classified as a no pee zone.” (This is worse than Switzerland. At least you can go during the day there.)
Montreal
“You may not swear in French.” ( I guess it is permitted in English though, since Quebec likes to pretend they are not part of the same country as the rest of Canada and English is barely tolerated there. )
British Columbia
“It is illegal to kill a sasquatch.” ( I wonder if Scotland has Nessie laws similar to this one. ..Of course since hardly anyone really believes sasquatch exist, the court case would be like that lawyer in “Miracle on 34th Street”, proving the existence of Santa Claus. The United States post office delivered his mail, so that meant Santa had to exist. Although I am no lawyer, and I do not speak legalese, I am fairly sure a case could be made that this law means the B.C. government has given their seal of approval on the existence of big foot. – Oh, I do want to interject that although I am not proficient at legalese, I am QUITE proficient at typonese, the language of the seriously challenged typist.)
New Brunswick
“Driving on the roads is not allowed.” ( They have a standard sidewalk sign there for all pedestrians that says, all pedestrians must wear helmets.)
Canada – National Law
You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies. (O.K., when I’m in Winnipeg again, I’ll make sure I only buy the larger chocolate bars that cost more than fifty cents or maybe buy a fifty cent one with 45 pennies and a nickel, then I’ll be legal.)
Don’t laugh too hard. These are serious and subject to fines and/or jail time if broken.
