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Lutefisk Jokes

Lutefisk, Psychological Assessment

Having thumbed through books such as “Ways to Use Lutefisk”, “More Ways to Use Lutefisk”, “Lutefisk Station”, and “Lutefisk Island” does not necessarily mean being an expert on the topic of the lutefisk. Lutefisk are reknowned for all sorts of things, however, most of these are not to be mentioned in polite company, here in the United States of America. Thus, I have little or no opinion about the present lutefisk crisis.

Not ever having been able to compare limburger cheese and lutefisk, I can scarcely say which is better, the cheese or the lutefisk, or which is more potent. Some people are experiencing limburger cheese nostalgia, thus it was decided that there should be more of a mention of limburger cheese, which is scarcely ever written about, let alone discussed in detail. Not ever been able to do a side-by-side comparison of lutefisk and limburger cheese, it is difficult to discuss the benefits or both products. Anyone who can survive this sort of taste test deserves at least an honorable mention.

A few people have requested things such as lutefisk jelly beans or lutefisk sugar cookies. I’m not sure of the profitability of these innovative products, which certainly are different, such that a feasibility study is being done on these product ideas, as well as for the companion concept of limburger cheese jelly bellies and limburger cheese flavored sugar cookies. One thing is certain, though, that if these concepts ever become reality, that the question, “Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?” will be much less of an issue.

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There is a question about the utilization of nuclear-powered lutefisk in the North Sea as a way of powering the homes of Scandinavians. This is something that several international regulatory agencies have been called upon to address. The nuclear lutefisk is a powerful driving force in the modern era.

Lutefisk is to much of Scandinavia what grouper is to Florida, a well-reputed dinner. Why there are so many jokes about the lutefisk, especially here in the United States of America is somewhat of a paradox. We could send Leonard Nimoy out “In Search of” the mystery behind the lutefisk humor, however, we could also launch the first lutefisk expedition to Europa for the same price. Of course, many people are probably complaining that there are already tons of lutefisk all over Europa, and that this is an absolutely preposterous idea that has been done to death. Well, so have the lutefisk.

What’s the difference between American stand-up comics and lutefisk? The lutefisk are funnier.

What is the national vegetable of the state of Ohio? The lutefisk.

How many lutefisk can you fit into a barrel of sugar cookies? Usually about ten before store security catches you, only five if the barrel is still on the export boat.

Lutefisk is not funny. Really, the white fillets of fish are not funny at all. Actually, there is not much to lutefisk aside from a subtle taste, flavor, and texture that is palatable to most folk. However, lutefisk are an ideal subject for humor. After all, the lutefisk are not going to tell jokes back.

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What is the national flower of the state of Minnesota? The lutefisk.

Someone in the state of Wisconsin developed the lutefisk pizza, complete with lutefisk flour, lutefisk-flavored cheese, and lutefisk tomato sauce. Sales of the product were lukewarm, though. Nobody understands why, not even the lutefisk.

Whoever said, “I never met a lutefisk I didn’t like”? We know that Will Rogers said that he’d never met a person he didn’t like. However, what’s to like about a lutefisk, or to dislike about a lutefisk? Lutefisk have no personality, whatsoever.

The State of Michigan is presently doing a year-long psychological assessment on the personality profile of the lutefisk. This study was funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, and is a serious undertaking. Don’t laugh, please, this is a serious, very serious matter, just like there are serious cookies – evidently, the lutefisk has become a serious fish deserving of its own definition within the Diagnostic Standard Manual.

What is the national bird of the state of Michigan? The lutefisk, which is absolutely not to be flipped, ever.

Speaking of flipping, there are pancake houses that serve smoked lutefisk instead of bacon along with their pancakes. These are the sorts of places that Danes attempt to find in the United States when taking a long walk instead of trying to amuse tourists from the snowbanks with their lie-down comedy routines. A lot of Danes tell lutefisk jokes during the Arctic winter, and the popularity of these jokes is pervasive.

Here’s some news for recent immigrants to the United States: filet mignon is not a type of French lutefisk, in fact, filet mignon is not a type of fish.

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Here’s some news for Czechs visiting Helsinki: American stand-up comics are not lutefisk. A lot of people from Czechoslovakia do not realize that the lutefisk are not tourists. Perhaps the exports to this nation were of the nuclear variety, which might explain a few things.

Never, ever try to do a stand-up comedy routine from a snowbank. The wind chill factor is intense in most places that have snowbanks, and a person’s skin quickly develops the color and texture of lutefisk.

Some tourists to Stockholm confuse the lutefisk with Swedish fish. Let me clear up this misconception: the lutefisk is served for dinner, Swedish fish are served for dessert. Now you can safely go back to your filet of fish and jello shot dinner, as long as you remember to feed your house gecko.