In today’s world emotionally healthy children seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Why is it so hard to raise kids that are mentally and emotionally stable these days? There are some basic skills that are keys to raising emotionally healthy children that many parents never learn.
One of the biggest mistakes we make trying to raise emotionally healthy children is that we tend to leave doubt about our love. This is not something we do on purpose. As life moves by at warp speed, so to does our time with our children. Emotionally healthy children know they are loved because their parents tell them every day. They take the time to make sure that their children have no doubts because they ask. If a child has questions in this area, they are already behind the eight ball.
Another huge mistake we make as parents is that we spend way to much time on correcting the child rather than addressing the problem. For example, if a child continues to wet the bed, we must resist the urge to judge and criticize. The problem is the bed wetting. Not the child. Emotionally healthy children do not feel as though they are the problem or that they are being judged. They know that they do bad things sometimes, but they themselves are not inherently bad. Focusing on the child rather than the problem will not produce emotionally healthy children.
Shielding your child completely from the dangers of the world is the biggest mistake you can make as a parent. Emotionally healthy children grow up knowing that the world is flawed, and that they will have struggles to overcome. You do not want your child crippled because they think the world is going to roll over for them. Give your children small tastes of the real world. Rather than telling them that you are in danger of having your house taken away, maybe explain to them the importance of saving. Then explain that you are going to have to move to a smaller home because you did not save properly. (If that was the case) The point is, do not scare them to death, but do not shield them from the world either.
Finally, and most importantly, learn to listen to your children to help them grow up to be emotionally healthy children that can handle the world. Children are wonderful in that they communicate what is wrong if you are a good listener. Because they might not always be up front with the information, listening is the key. Good listening skills will allow you to deal with your children’s problems before they become huge. Any problem is better fixed early. Emotionally healthy children are listened to and communicated with regularly.
If you follow some of these simple steps, you are well on your way to emotionally healthy children of your own. When the world opens up its arms to your children, they will be able to judge when those arms are safe or not. They will have strong, confident belief systems in place, and will be able to make good choices with or without you around. That is the parent’s ultimate goal, and is well worth working at to improve every day.
