A death of a family member or close friend can be a difficult time for you and it will probably be something that you would have never been able to prepare for before hand. With the death of a loved one comes that funeral arrangements and other necessities that you must take care of. I know that this can be a difficult time for you and that this is not something that you want to do and this guide is going to make the planning of the funeral arrangements easier so you can continue to mourn your loved ones death without all the distractions.
The funeral home
The first place that you should start is looking into funeral homes. You will want a funeral home that fits your needs. If your loved one had a burial policy, most of the funeral arrangements might have already been covered by the policy holder before the death and this will make it much easier on planning the arrangements. Look for recommendations of people who have been in this situation and ask to speak to the funeral coordinator about their cost and procedures.
If you’re loved one had a will
During this difficult time, we often try to remember what this person would have wanted and they may have even had a will with specific directions for when they died. If they do have a Will, take a look at it and share it with the funeral coordinator so that they can help to grant their last wishes.
Setting the date and time
Depending on the date that their body was released, you will have the opportunity to set a date for the funeral or cremation. Most funeral homes like to have the funeral within three days preceding their death but this may not be possible to do this.
The time of the funeral should be set at a time that is the most convenient. It may not be a wise choice to have a funeral service after noon if there will be a lot of elderly people at the funeral.
Keep all documents and cost
The person who is in charge which is usually the next of kin, will need to get a copy of all arrangements and expenses to hold in a safe place. If possible, have the funeral home to highlight the payments, deposit, and each itemized expense on the paper work so that you will be able to understand it better and not have to sift through everything to find the cost.
The viewing
The viewing will allow everyone to be able to look at your loved ones body before the funeral. Funeral homes will provide this service with a fee that will be added to your bill. During the viewing, people are able to send flowers, cards, or other items to the funeral home.
If you do not plan on having a viewing, notify someone who can call everyone and let them know and make your wishes clear to the funeral home.
Where to hold the funeral services
Most people will hold the funeral services in a church that the loved one had attended. If you decide not to have the funeral services in a church, the funeral home will usually have an area for the family and friends to hold the services. If you hold the funeral services at a church, be sure to notify the church member who is in charge of such things as these so that you can fill them in on the proceedings.
Deciding on music, prayers, poems, and other such memoirs
A funeral service is typically no longer than 40 minutes to an hour. The reason for the time is because a lot of people will become restless and those who want to see the body once more will have a chance to do so after the service and before the body is laid to rest at the cemetery.
Choosing the right music is a hard decision. The best ways to choose the music is to keep you’re loved on in mind when making the selection. Many people will choose music that their loved one had loved or music that reminds them of their loved one. The typical number of songs per funeral is 3 to 4.
If there are those who choose to say a poem or speech about your loved one, it might be easier to designate one person to do it all instead of having each person to walk to the stage or area.
Food and beverages
When my son died and they told me that I needed to make preparations for the food, I thought they were out of their minds; who could eat at a time like this? The food and beverages was finally passed on to some of the lady members of the church to prepare so that we wouldn’t have to take care of it and this is probably the best idea for getting the food and beverages prepared. I didn’t eat at the funeral and for nearly a month after my son died, I do not recommend this because you will need your strength during the mourning process. If you can’t find it in your heart to eat, try nibbling on crackers or dry bread to help your stomach from tangling up in knots.
Conclusion
I know that this can be a very difficult time for you and your family, take my advice and take it one step at time. People can say some of the strangest things at a time like this even if they don’t mean it the way that it came out, don’t take anything to heart. I can’t tell you that it will get easier or that time will heal your pain but I can say that the memories of your loved one will always be there for you.
Be prepared for the day after the funeral, I don’t know why but it seemed to be one of the hardest days of my life other than the day that my son died. During the planning for the funeral, you will probably feel rushed and it will keep your mind off of a lot of what is going on but when the funeral is over, you may be left with an empty feeling in your heart. Counseling is a great option for those who have just suffered through a loss and it will help for you to build a support team of family members and people that can help you.
