Few human beings have managed to transverse through childhood without having to deal with some very real fears and at least one constant imaginary one – – the Boogeyman. My grandson recently entered into that age where things are going “bump” in his closet and imaginary monsters are lurking underneath his bed.
I still remember my own struggle with the Boogeyman. To this day, I swear that I saw him one night peering in through my grandmother’s dining room window. No one and nothing has ever erased that image from my mind or successfully convinced me that it didn’t really happen.
So I began to wonder where the whole myth of the Boogeyman began. Did he crop up from a story about a real human being that had done something unforgivable? Was he merely born from someone’s too fertile imagination? More than how he began, however, I wondered how has he managed to survive for thousands of years.
Some suggest that the whole idea of the Boogeyman lands squarely in the lap of parents who use the imaginary character to frighten their children into submission. I’d hate to think that was true; that any parent could be that cruel. However, it unfortunately has a ring of truth to it. However, it still begs the question, what goaded that parent into using that particular type of threat?
A lot people think that the monster was created out of man’s natural fear of the dark. That is, after all, one of our most primal fears. It goes back to the beginning of time itself. We are, after all, creatures of light. The dark doesn’t come naturally to us and, therefore, its inky blackness is bound to become a fertile ground for all kinds of imaginary creatures.
Others suggest that the Boogeyman grew out of dark fairy tales and stories about werewolves, vampires and other creatures that, of course, always inhabited the night. I can buy into this one myself. When I was little, I loved horror movies. I have no idea why I loved them, because the truth is they scared me to death.
I remember once seeing a movie called “The 4-D Man.” It starred Robert Lansing as one-half of a brother scientific team who had created an amplifier that enabled them to enter into a four dimensional state. That meant that Scott (Lansing’s character) could pass through any object, including brick walls.
After seeing that movie, I couldn’t sleep for weeks. I just knew that the 4-D man was going to come through my bedroom wall to get me.
I had a similar irrational fear of vampires and werewolves. What can I say, I was an imaginative child? What my experiences do show, however, is how easily children can take such stories from books and movies and translate them into their own personal Boogeymen.
Even the seemingly most innocent fairytales and books have included witches and goblins. Think of all the evil creatures that exist in the highly popular children’s book series Harry Potter. How could we not expect children to pick up on the negative aspects of those stories and, with their fertile imaginations, develop their own personal monster?
Applying that theory to my grandson, however, I realized that it couldn’t be the only cause for the Boogeyman’s creation. We never read him stories with scary creatures in them and we carefully screen everything he watches on television. Additionally, his favorite movie is “Monsters, Inc.” which clearly paints the scary person of the story as the child and not the monster. So where did his Boogeyman come from?
I discovered the answer quite by accident. My grandson has a myriad of friends in his neighborhood. They range in age from two to twelve. It just works out that way. The whole neighborhood is closely knit; one of those ideal places where everyone watches out for everyone else.
Recently, Josh has joined the “sleepover” brigade. That obviously isn’t a problem when the children with whom he is sleeping over are around his age (four). However, sometimes even the older children (between seven to nine) have also joined in.
One night, I happened upon the group after I thought they were long asleep. They weren’t, of course. The older children were telling ghost stories to one another without thinking about the effect their stories might have on the younger children. It was, as they say, my “ah ha” moment.
The older children weren’t the only ones trained at “pretend sleeping.” Some of the little ones were listening in on the stories. Shortly there after, several of them developed their own personal Boogeymen.
Obviously, it is impossible to bubble wrap children to protect them from all the ills of the world. They will get exposed from time to time no matter what we do. Unfortunately, that means that the Boogeyman is very likely to make an appearance at one time or another.
What we can do, however, as parents and grandparents is take away the Boogeyman’s power by reinforcing positive models as well. I reminded my grandson that his guardian angel – – which he has named Charlie, after me – – would never allow harm to come to him. I also remind him that “Teddy” is right by his side ready to protect him.
I tuck him in tightly and give him one of nana’s protective kisses. Then I remind him that mommy and daddy and sometimes even nana and papa are just one door away; always ready to protect him from harm.
So far it has worked. The Boogeyman hasn’t made a return appearance in weeks.
I don’t think we can ever really get rid of that monster. He isn’t anything new and he isn’t just a part of our culture. He exists everywhere, in virtually every country in the world, in one form or another. What we can do, however, is never allow him to flourish by providing our children with what they want and need most; our unequivocal love. So far, nothing has ever been able to break the strength of that bond and I’m willing to bet that nothing ever will.
