One of the good things about growing up during the 1970’s scripted television shows were at their finest. It was a time when producers “pushed” the limits and it was an era when the infamous troubled child star was born.
Of all the shows my favorite (and still is) One Day at a Time. It was one of the first revolving around a divorced mother of two teenage daughters and the daily struggles they went through.
The show was to be centered around Mackenzie Phillips when the country fell in love with her a couple of years earlier when she played the precocious Carol in American Graffiti. In fact, Phillips declined to audition for the role of Julie Cooper which would propel her into television superstardom, but at the same time was this role also opening the door to her downhill slide?
When Phillips’ book High on Arrival was released in 2009, there was already a lot of controversy surrounding it. Phillips opened up about her life and the relationship with her father, John, the lead singer of the popular rock group The Mamas and the Papas. While her drug use was very public it was the allegations of an incestuous affair which caught the readers’ attention.
I was more interested in what went on behind the scenes of the show, but unfortunately Phillips doesn’t spend a lot of time talking about those days. Her drug usage became fodder for the tabloids but somewhere down deep there seemed to be a cry for help. Maybe I’m naïve but during the time she was on the show I never noticed anything wrong with her performance.
The tabloids loved her arrests, the stints in rehab and of course being fired twice from the show. To put it mildly, Mackenzie Phillips was a hot mess even before the term was coined. She was in fact her own soap opera.
People who loved the smart mouthed teen in American Graffiti were now rolling their eyes and not taking pity in her foibles. Everyone began to turn their back on her.
After reading this can’t put down book, I saw her in a guest starring role on the popular Love Boat and wondered if she were high during filming. If she were you couldn’t tell and she turned in a good performance but then again a functioning addict can learn to hide their addiction and still work.
In reality while reading her memoir I saw a different person. I saw a scared child who only wanted to be loved and used the pain of not feeling loved turned to a destructive lifestyle. Phillips gave a lot of love but didn’t get it in return.
She had enablers and disablers, she found/lost love and for those of us outside of Hollywood looking in, it seemed like she had it all. Fame and fortune really is a monster.
I wasn’t sure what to expect while reading this book, but I can say that it was as though I were sitting in her living room talking candidly about her life. It was as though we were new friends just getting to know one another after a few encounters.
You can feel her anxiety on the pages and if you read between the lines you can still see her masking the pain. With the release of the first season of One Day at a Time check out the reunion of the cast in the bonus features. It was shot before the book came out, but you can physically see a scared timid person wanting and so desperately seeking acceptance.
Above all, I wanted to tell her that it was okay and I wasn’t going to make any judgment on what she had been through. Words are a powerful thing and Phillips’ words are very powerful. People may have thought she wrote this book in a spiteful way, but it was her way of getting rid of the anger and hurt she’s been carrying around during her life.
After reading the book I wanted to give her a hug.
