Perhaps one of the most difficult facts of life is that it is not ever lasting and at some point, we must all face this fact. In an instant, we can be faced with the unexpected sad event of the death of a loved one. The sad loss of a loved one is a uniquely human experience that is both emotionally and physically taxing. Moreover, few of us realize to what extent that bereavement can impact us physically and emotionally. If we are to heal, it is important to understand what it is our bodies are going through and, ultimately, the physical implications of ongoing bereavement.
Life Experience and Effects
The term grief encapsulates a plethora of emotions; depression, disbelief, guilt, anger, shock, loneliness, etc. Because we all have different life experiences, it stands to reason that bereavement and grief affects each of us differently, as well. It’s true that for every emotion we experience, there is also a physical reaction. Keeping in mind that emotions are produced by chemical reactions, we can begin to understand that those same chemicals are affecting us physically as well. Lethargy and unexplained pain are just a few of the physical reactions we may experience during the grieving process. It is critical to understand that every person is unique and the grieving process will vary from person to person. What is consistent; however, are our physical reactions to the components of grief.
To understand the physical effect of bereavement, it may help to first understand the chemicals that are produced during the process. We often feel a “fight or flight” sensation. This commonly occurs immediately after hearing the sad news and usually lasts for just a little while. Producing natural adrenaline chemicals, our bodies react to the thought of reality. We feel strong urges to either fight the truth or run from it. During this common phase, our bodies are tense and rigid. We feel that something must be done even though rationale tells us that there is nothing to be done.
Typically, during the first four stages of bereavement, our mentality can be decidedly numb and ferociously savage at the same time. We may feel intense emotional anguish and “nothing” simultaneously. It is of utmost importance that at this stage, we recognize the feelings and express them accordingly. Because of the varied emotions and physical ailments we can experience during bereavement, our behavior is often affected. Whether we choose to stifle our feelings or communicate them our mood will not only be apparent to others, but can be detrimental to us socially and professionally. Depression can cause even the sunniest pf personalities to become cloudy and stormy. Our friends watch as we silently become withdrawn and unsocial. Co-workers notice that the quality of our work and attitude has been negatively impacted. Family members question us about how we are doing because we have become so withdrawn. Alternatively, many of us feel angry and sub-consciously take it out on those around us. Friends stop calling or complain about our bad attitude and co-workers notice that we aren’t as open to communication or idle banter.
