You’ve been asked to be a ‘Best Man’. What exactly are you being asked to do?? Here are the details of the honor you’ve just agreed to…
The Best Man’s original duty was to protect the bride until the ceremony, from the possibility that kidnappers would attempt to make off with here before the marriage could take place. Odds are good that these days, your friend’s bride-to-be won’t be in danger of kidnapping, and the Best Man’s duties have evolved over the years.
Apart from some specific traditional duties, you’re expected to support the groom, acting as an extra hand for the many details that have to be worked out before and during the wedding. If there are additional male attendants, you’ll act as liaison for them, (so that the groom doesn’t get a dozen phone calls every time there’s a common question).
As the leader of the male attendants, you’ll supervise the selection of formalwear for the group, and co-ordinate schedules to see that all the men are properly fitted for their outfits in time fro the big day. You’ll need to make sure that each man tries on his wedding gear a few days or a week before the wedding, just in case there needs to be any last-minute alterations.
Traditionally, the Best Man has organized the Bachelor Party. Try to steer away from the antics you see in movie-versions of those ‘last nights of freedom’. Remember, this is for your best friend. You do *not* want to have to explain to the angry bride-to-be that you helped land your buddy in jail. Have a few laughs, pass out a few gag gifts, and remember that this is a celebration of a new start, and not about a loss of his old life. If you feel that you must serve alcohol, be sure that everyone has a safe ride home!
If the attendants are planning a group gift for the groom, the Best Man is likely to be in charge of getting it picked up and wrapped. Try to choose something tasteful, that he’ll be able to show his new bride proudly.
On the big day, it’s the responsibility of the Best Man to make sure that the groom is driven to the ceremony site in plenty of time, and that the groom and the attendants all have their clothing and flowers on properly. (Don’t forget shoes!) You’ll also be holding the ring for the groom until it’s time to present it during the ceremony.
At the reception, the Best Man traditionally makes the first toast to the new couple. Again, you want to make it something tasteful! Good natured jokes are appreciated, but don’t embarrass the new couple in front of each other’s parents and all those guests. A short story about how you met one or both of them, and your sincere wishes for their happy new life together, will make for a perfect toast.
The first dance is traditionally started by the groom and bride. After they’ve danced long enough for the crowd to admire them and the photographer to take pictures, the Best Man should lead the Maid or Matron of Honor onto the dance floor to dance as well. The other groomsmen should then pair off with the bridesmaids, until there is enough of a crowd on the dance floor that the other guests feel comfortable joining in.
When the newlyweds are ready to leave the reception, you as Best Man will likely be driving the car. You will be responsible for keeping the pranksters at bay (unless you are the prankster!), so that the new couple can make a smooth and romantic escape.
Your very last duties as Best Man are to return to the reception, and ensure that the parents of the bride and groom are arranged for, (out of towners to their hotel, etc.). And then, finally, make sure that the gifts are packed up and taken to whatever location the new couple has specified, so that they can open them later when they return.
The Best Man is selected by the groom to assist him in making this special day a success. It’s a lot of responsibility, but done out of love for one of the most important people to you.
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